Malia: I made a list of things this guy has said to me. Read these comments and tell me what you think about a guy who would make comments like this……
“I enjoyed my workout. Now I’m going to enjoy working you out.”
“You know I can’t live without you, but right now it’s more about what I want to do with you.”
“Permission to come aboard?”
“You want your nodge nudged?”
“Sex is the glue that holds relationships together, and I want our relationship to be superglue.”
“I want your heart. I want your soul. And I want your holes.”
“This is a good time to ninja your coochie bone.”
“The law changed. Wives are now required to be naked at all times when not in the presence of kids and other people.”
“Do you know what bocating is? Let me show you.”
“I am thinking about smashin them cheeks.”
“Or I could deep dive into your lady cave.”
“This is pre fixin to unload an atomic jizz bomb in ya crochasaki”
“Advertise your holes so I can pick one to poke.”
“Lick a lady good morning?”
“I want to focus on my artwork. Your body will be my canvas. My dick will be the paint brush. My jizz will be the paint.”
“A robust cocking is coming and cumming to a vagina near you by the end of the day.”
“Sexual tornado MJ is about to make landfall on you. It’s a category horny max 5. Brace yourself woman!”
“63 earths can fit inside Uranus. Let’s see if my penis can fit in your anus.”
“Your vagina is so fascinating. I am very motivated to study it as much as possible with my eyes, my hands, my fingers, my tongue, and my dick.”
“I am a bedroom Jurassic Park tourist. I am here to see my favorite dinosaur, the Assasuarus.”
“I want you so bad my dick aches.”
“Do you think it is sacrilegious to say, “God Bless my wife’s big sexy ass?”
“Touching the area that is glistening right there would be a good thing, a very good thing.”
“If you’re on our bed, you’re offering. That is just the rule. Don’t ask me. I didn’t make the rule. I’m only acting on it.”
“Nationwide might be on your side by MJ’s about to be all up in ya!”
“Fuck your clothes for preventing my eyes from enjoying your body.”
“Could your vagina go for some being masturbated right now?”
“It’s always a good time to be in a state of fuck-bliss with your woman.”
“I can tell you need a coochie smoochy.”
“Commencing countdown to cocking sequence. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, begin. You thought I was going to wait, didn’t you? Well, I’m not NASA. I don’t have to wait for a go no go from the tower at 0 to commence.”
“Baby I have that problem again. My balls are all congested. Can you help me get them uncongested?”
“Having sex regularly is the cure for stuff and things that are bad. Ask Dr. Whatchamacallit. He’ll tell ya.”
“Announce and pounce warning. Sex is imminent.”
“Shhhh. I am picking the perfect angle to begin sexing the shit out of you.”
MJ: After carefully reading and analyzing the comments, here are my thoughts. He sounds like an honest and upstanding guy. He is probably a Sunday school teacher. He might even be a saint.
Malia: You are ridiculous Michael David Johnson! He is definitely not a Sunday school teacher or a saint, but he is an American hero, an amazing husband, and an incredible father.
Malia: You wanna watch a movie where “the girl starts out a bitch but ends up nice by the end,” otherwise known as a romcom tonight?
MJ: Baby!
Malia: You are just such a man, that’s all.
MJ: Yes I do. I love snuggling and watching movies with you babe.
Malia: Ok. I will leave you alone now so you can bring home the bacon.
A Picture and a Thousand Words about an Angel on Earth – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/a-picture-and-a-thousand-words-about-an-angel-on-earth/
