Dear Malia May Johnson,
I am excited about moving into our new house, and I wanted to let you know the following.
I’m fuckin you in the indoor pool!
I’m fuckin you in the outdoor pool!
I’m fuckin you in all the closets!
I’m fuckin you in the see through room!
I’m fuckin you in the gym!
I’m fuckin you on the basketball court!
I’m fuckin you in the garage!
I’m fuckin you on the private lookout balcony!
I’m fuckin you in the ass!
I’m fuckin you in the pantry!
I’m fuckin you in the secret room!
I’m fuckin you in the wine closet!
I’m fuckin you in my new office before they lock it down!
I’m fuckin you in the kitchen!
I’m fuckin you in the dining room!
I’m fuckin you in the living room!
I’m fuckin you in the sun room!
I’m fuckin you in the sitting room!
I’m fuckin you in the laundry room!
I’m fuckin you in the maintenance room!
I’m fuckin you in the home theatre!
I’m fuckin you in the attic!
I’m fuckin you in the awkward room that doesn’t seem to have any kind of purpose. and no one can figure out why it’s there!
I’m fuckin you down by the dock!
I’m fuckin you on the jetty rock area in the lake.
I’m fuckin you on my new boat when I get it!
I’m fuckin you in all the woods areas!
I’m fuckin you on the patio, upstairs and down!
I’m fuckin you on every level of the spiral stair case!
I’m fuckin you in every bathroom!
I’m fuckin you in the guest house!
I’m fuckin you on the walking path!
I’m fuckin you in the one foot deep water fountain pool that is not a pool for swimming at all!
Then the house will be officially properly christened!
All of my love,
Michael David Johnson
The Johnson’s Are Moving! – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/the-johnsons-are-moving/
