Malia: Baby, remember this? It is always interesting to see what your brilliant, loving, and slightly perverted, but in a good way, mind will come up with. I know you hand wrote the Dear P@$$y letter back in the day, but your handwriting looks like ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics, no offense, so I typed it out to be able to post it……
Dear Pussy,
You are a beautiful curse. I used to be afraid you would get pregnant. We wanted to do things the traditional way, by getting married first.
Well now we are ready! Pussy, please connect Malia’s eggs and my sperm together to make a baby.
I used to think of you just as a source of pleasure, but you are so much more than that!
You must think we don’t like you since all we do is jam things in you. I.E. My dick, vibrators, fingers, the top of the wine bottle that one time, etc. We mean you no harm. We cum in peace.
Pussy, when you hear people use negative names for you such as “cunt”, that is all of the other pussies out there. Not you. You are special.
Pussy, I love you. The way you taste…..Delicious! The way you get wet to make things more pleasurable for me…..Love it!
Once a month when you have a period, yuck, but I know you gotta do what you gotta do. I understand.
Having a period also gives you a break from me being all up in you and poking you, etc. Quite frankly, it’s your fault I want to be in you all the time. You are just so damn amazing! I can’t help myself. You’re addictive! You should come with a warning label like cigarettes or something.
Please, pretty please with a cherry on top, drop some eggs to hang out with my sperm. Your eggs can mix with my sperm, and before you know it, botta bing botta boom, a baby is conceived.
You have been a part of Malia since forever. You know she will be an awesome mom.
Pussy, only you can make our dreams of having a baby together come true. We are counting on you.
We really need you. You got this! Let’s come together, right now, and make a baby!
All of my love and lust,
MJ
