“Daddy, I don’t care if we stay downtown or our regular apartment. It’s fun both places. Look! I built both places while you were in the potty. Let’s play Legos now.” My son Christian Johnson I love being a Dad!
Tag: Malia and Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson
“MJ The Terrible”…..He’s Capable of Anything!
MJ: When I hear people say…”He’s capable of anything”, is it wrong that I take it as a compliment? Malia: Only you baby. Only you. Are you talking about the email from your ex? MJ: I’ve heard other people say it as well, but in this case, yes. Malia: She stalks you on the internet. MJ: I know. What’s for…
We’re pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!
Malia: We just found out. MJ said I could tell everyone. We’re pregnant!!!!!!!!!!! Malia Pregnancy Test 9-19-2017 (See attached)
Postpartum Happiness
MJ: Baby!!! You have been awesome this week! You are not going to turn into Gotye! She had postpartum depression, and you have postpartum sweetness and happiness. You are nothing like her. You will never lose me, and I love you! Malia: I’m not exactly sure how postpartum depression works, but I’m pretty sure Gotye was just mean and hateful…
MJ The Terrible’s Life While He Is In The Hospital (MJ#2)
Malia: Where are you at? Did you sleep at all? Let me guess, still excited about the deal and couldn’t sleep? MJ: Downstairs in my office. No. Yes, but I also can’t stop watching and listening to all of the videos and recordings from what happened in the house and stuff, between Chris and Gotye, while I was in the…
Malia Talks With A Sexologist
Question: My question is for Malia. I am a sexologist. I can’t see you but I bet you laughed like everyone else does when I tell them what my profession is. I am currently studying the smell of men’s “goo”, if you will. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind sharing what MJ THE TERRIBLE’s you know, stuff smells like?…
Q&A With Malia May Johnson (September 2017)
Question #1. Hi Malia. I work for Intel. MJ was at our office last week. He isn’t a big man, 6 foot, 175 I guess but his eyes are scary. I asked him a question during a meeting. As soon as he looked it me, I had goose bumps. It was terrifying. I can’t explain it. I might be overreacting…
Soco Trash Art Apology Gift
Omg we love this painting!!! For lack of better words, and I mean no disrespect here, the trash art guy who did this for us is a frickin genius!!! It’s a sponge painting that’s about 3 feet tall, and 2 feet wide. He only charged me $20!! I had it made for Malia as an apology gift for when Matthew…
Baby Making and Business
MJ: Are you dressed like that right now? Malia: Yep! MJ: You know I have to be at Intel at 2 right? Malia: So what you’re saying is you have plenty of time. MJ: I want to baby. I have a lot to do. Rain check until tonight? I guarantee I will take care of business! Malia: Wrong answer! Guess…
“Business” Booty Call Post
Mr. Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson, This is not a booty call post baby. This is business. Not strictly for pleasure. I know you have things to do today, but please put me on your “to do” list. I am ovulating. Soooooo…..I need you to come take care of business! Baby, do you know what they call a girl who…