Malia: I know you can’t call, but will you text us when you take a break baby?
MJ: Who is us?
Malia: Me and Claire. She came over to hang out.
MJ: What does she need? Do you want me to give her a job or something like that?
Malia: We want your advice on men and dating. Claire wants to find a man and settle down. Do not say it!
MJ: Say what?
Malia: The “Thousand Cock Stare Claire” comments/jokes. She’s trying! She really wants to get married and have a family.
MJ: That was Chris, but I didn’t help the situation. In all fairness, she started it by saying she has probably slept with a small city. Should I apologize?
Malia: Helping her today can be your non-apology, apology.
MJ: Ok. I’ll text in a half an hour or so.
Malia: Yay! Thank you!
MJ: First let’s see what she is looking for. I found a calculator that determines what percentage of the population of guys have the characteristics that women are looking for.
Malia: Okay
MJ: What age range is she interested in dating?
Malia: 35 to 45
MJ: Exclude married guys?
Malia: Yes
MJ: What race or race doesn’t matter?
Malia: White guys
MJ: Minimum height?
Malia: 6 feet
MJ: Exclude obese guys?
Malia: Yes
MJ: Minimum income?
Malia: 500k
MJ: Here is a screenshot of the results.
Malia: What about if you keep everything else the same but lower the income to 250k?
MJ: Here is a screenshot of the results at 250k.
Malia: Wow! What about if you keep everything else the same but lower the income to 150k?
MJ: Results at 150k
Malia: What about all the same but income100k?
MJ: Results at 100k
Malia: How can that be? The results are horrible! What website is this?
MJ: Here is the link https://www.igotstandardsbro.com/
Malia: We looked it up. The average income for a guy between 35 to 45 is only $69,108! Did you know that?
MJ: I didn’t know the exact number, but I was thinking in that range.
Malia: And only 14.5% of men are at least 6 feet tall.
MJ: Most men are under 6 feet tall and make under $100,000.
Malia: You are 6 feet tall and make more than $100,000.
MJ: I feel very lucky and blessed.
Malia: I feel lucky and blessed that you are my husband. I love you so much in the right until death does us part ways and in the superficial 6 feet tall sexy and high-income provider ways too.
Malia: I am so never letting you go!!! As soon as we are alone when you get home you are getting the best blow job of your life! I knew how lucky I was to have you as my husband, but this has been another big reminder of how lucky I am.
MJ: I feel the same way about you! You’re my queen baby!
MJ: And can’t wait for the bj!
Malia: I promise you will be getting it!
Malia: Claire is sad. Dating sucks!
MJ: We are as lucky as a family can be baby. Thank you for all the awesome wifing and mothering. I need to run. I will let you know my eta to get home tonight when I know. I truly love and adore you Malia.
Malia: Now I feel bad because I am happy, and Claire is super sad. 🙂 and 🙁
Malia: Thank you for being my prince charming sexy man, best dad ever, and all of the things I can’t think of right now that I want to say. I fucking love you hardcore all the way forever Michael David Johnson! I can’t wait until you get home tonight baby! XOXO 😉 and more XOXOXOXOXOXO!
20 Reasons I Love You Michael David Johnson – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/20-reasons-i-love-you-michael-david-johnson/
