Malia: Hey baby. I read your email. Sorry you are having a stressful day. I love you. I am available if you need some stress relief if you know what I mean.
MJ: Thanks babe. I love you too.
Malia: You are usually all about it bout it when I offer “stress relief”. I am a good listener. We can talk about it if you want to.
MJ: I think I am going to go for a long walk or a run or something.
Malia: Ok. Just know I am available and I love you.
MJ: I am extremely stressed! I am afraid I might get loud if we talk about it, and I am afraid I will fuck you through the bed if we have sex.
Malia: I’m not pregnant right now, and I’m not some fragile doll that is going to break. It’s ok with me if you wanna let me have it!
MJ: Baby, I’m serious. I’m like so this right now- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppOu3ogzL-M
Malia: When we met your Stuxnet computer worm virus almost started world war 3. You died when your head exploded from a subdural hematoma rupture and by some miracle you came back to life. I mean you have a twin body double. You are always doing some kind of save the world top secret shit. I am married to “MJ The Terrible”! I’m like so this 24/7 365- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_51Nfk_1wU
MJ: You’re war ready huh?
Malia: Damn right I am!
MJ: You are in baby making heat right now. You want me to put a little bambino in your belly. You would take it anyway I want to give it right now.
Malia: And the child that gets conceived during our “Bang Brawl in Bethesda” today is probably going to grow up to be a WWE wrestler.
MJ: I like that. Did you just come up with the Bang Brawl in Bethesda thing?
Malia: No. I came up with it when you were watching the Muhammad Ali Thrilla in Vanilla movie.
MJ: Thrilla In Manila. They didn’t fight in ice cream.
Malia: I am willing to take all you’ve got to give. Mother fuckin rope a dope my business MJ!
MJ: My business is going to fucking slam your business!!!
Malia: Maybe our 2 businesses together can make a little spin off business. A wittle baby business.
MJ: Omg! I thought we were going to friggin brawl in Bethesda? Hardcore woman!
Malia: Ok. I’m serious. I want you to fuck me as hard as you want to for as long as you need to. Even if it hurts. I can take it if it helps you get it all out of your system.
MJ: I don’t think I have ever loved you more than right now.
Malia: Any other girl would say something like “You tell me that right now? What is wrong with you?”, but I know you. You mean you know I love you so much I would do anything for you, and that makes you feel like you love me even more than before. I get you MJ. I know you. I fucking love you
MJ: Yes.
Malia: Yes what?
MJ: Yes to all that. Now I feel like making more love to you then I do banging your brains out.
Malia: ………
MJ: Like you’re ready?
Malia: My engine is revved up to the maximum! Come take me for a drive Mr. Johnson!!
MJ: Fuckin right I want to test drive your sexy ass!
Malia: Well???
MJ: I’m stuck in the elevator.
Malia: You didn’t take the stairs to 2 frickin floors? I forgot to tell you it’s broken. I love this house and the guest house but it needs some upgrades.
MJ: I am legitimately stuck in the elevator and it’s dark in here.
Malia: Baby, I have some bad news. The only way to unstick it is to pull the release lever and let it fall to the ground. Or wait for Jimmy the fix it guy to come. You are going to pull it and let it fall aren’t you?
MJ: Wait for it……
Malia: Oh God. I will get Dr. Frincke pulled up on my phone in case you get hurt.
Malia: Did you pull it?
Malia: Baby!
Malia: Baby?
Note: I was on the stairs the whole time! I tackled her onto the bed and had my way with her. It was awesome! Besides the moments you have with your kids, there is nothing quite like finding your soulmate. Enjoy your rest sleeping beauty. I love you more than life itself!
