Guest user1: Hello Mr. “MJ The Terrible”, my name is Ailam Nosnhoj. I was at a get together at your apartment recently, and I over heard you telling the other men at the party about the first time you kissed your wife Malia. You said your first kiss happened at a much later date than when your first kiss actually might have happened. I was wondering if you remembered possibly an earlier first kiss?
MJ: Interesting! I don’t know anyone named Ailam Nosnhoj. What I do know is I told the first kiss story that Malia and I talked about as being our first official kiss. Ailam, how would you know about a potentially earlier kiss? BTW Ailam spelled backwards is Malia.
Guest user1: I might have been there at the time of the real first kiss between you and Malia. What an interesting coincidence that you noticed Ailam spelled backwards is Malia. I bet you don’t remember the real first kiss. That’s what I’m betting. Malia is a close friend of mine, and she told me she blocked all of your access to find out the answer to the first kiss question. She said the only way for you to know the answer to this question, is from memory. Do you or don’t you remember MJ?
MJ: Ailam, I would be happy to tell you about the first potential kiss, but then the world is going to know that Malia made a move on me while I was still married to Gotye.
Guest user1: She did not! You are the one that “accidentally tripped” and kissed her!
MJ: That’s not the way I remember it at all! The floor was slippery. I almost slipped, fell, and broke my neck! After I slipped and started to fall, I did fall into Malia and our lips bumped into each other. That’s the way I remember it.
Guest user1: Malia said you tongued her during the kiss!
MJ: Michael Jordan used to play basketball with his tongue hanging out. Anything is possible during a an accidental fall situation.
Guest user1: Malia says she feels sad that you want to say your first kiss with her was an accident.
MJ: Is Malia okay with hearing my real answer? Because I will say exactly what happened, and give you a detailed play by play if she’s cool with it.
Guest user1: Malia said she would love to hear your real answer/prove you know the answer.
MJ: In that case…. Our first kiss happened on September 22nd, 2013, at a Bon Jovi concert, at the Frank Erwin Center, while Bon Jovi was singing a love song called Bed of Roses. Malia was wearing tan sandals that I called clod hops, a light blue flowered dress, she had let her hair down long, and she had on this new makeup that made her face itch. The floor was slippery, but only because I accidentally tripped into her, and knocked our food and drinks on her/the floor earlier in the night. During the song Bed of Roses, Bon Jovi was walking around the circular stage/platform, right next to where we were on the floor, and one of the stage lights was shining directly on Malia. I couldn’t help but look at her in that moment. She was singing the song, and she looked like an angel. She looked at me briefly with her beautiful brown eyes, before looking back up at the stage where Bon Jovi was. I remember feeling overwhelming feelings of passionate love like I had never felt before, and I don’t think if I got hit by a lightening bolt, that I would have felt a bigger jolt of electricity flow through my body. It was at that moment I felt her hand and mine bump into each other. I gently held her hand, and she slowly turned towards me. Our eyes locked and I mouthed the words- “I love you”. Malia mouthed the words “I love you too” back to me. Then we kissed, and it was magical!
Guest user1: Aww! How romantic. To be clear here, you are saying that you didn’t slip? Is that correct?
MJ: That is correct. I didn’t slip.
Guest user1: I see. What about tongue? Did you tongue/french kiss her?
MJ: Damn right I did!
Guest user1: Now that we have those questions answered, Malia has a few more questions she would like me to ask you. On the cab ride to drop her off that night before you went home to your wife, what did Malia tell you about you and her being together in the future?
MJ: She said we could never be together.
Guest user1: Did she say anything about the kiss that night?
MJ: Yes. She said she was drunk, and she told me she wished that it didn’t happen.
Guest user1: How did that make you feel?
MJ: HORRIBLE!
Guest user1: Then what happened?
MJ: She kissed me!
Guest user1: But you said she said she was drunk, and she wished that it didn’t happen. Why did she kiss you?
MJ: I don’t know.
Guest user1: Did you kiss her back?
MJ: Yes!
Guest user1: When did you guys go on your first planned date?
MJ: After I woke up in the hospital in Maryland, approximately 2 years later.
Guest user1: Two years later? I don’t understand. I thought you guys were in love?
MJ: Malia refused to talk to me again after that night, and she even moved from San Antonio, which was an hour drive away from Austin where I was living, to Bethesda, Maryland.
Guest user1: Why did she move and never want to see you again?
MJ: She didn’t want to ruin my marriage.
Guest user1: When was the next time you saw her after that night?
MJ: When I woke up in the hospital in Bethesda, Maryland.
Guest user1: Did you know she was working at the hospital you ended up at after your subdural hematoma ruptured?
MJ: No.
Guest user1: Did you still love her when you woke up approximately 2 years after your kiss at the Bon Jovi concert?
MJ: Yes
Guest user1: Did she love you?
MJ: Yes
Guest user1: Did you think it was a miracle that you two ended up in the same place again, all the way across the country?
MJ: Yes
Guest user1: Did she agree to immediately go on a date with you and live happily ever after?
MJ: Hell no she didn’t! I had to wear her down.
Guest user1: Why if she moved from San Antonio to Bethesda to get away from you, did you keep pursuing her?
MJ: Because she was/is the only woman/person besides my kids that I couldn’t live without.
Guest user1: Why do you think she finally agreed to go on a date with you?
MJ: Because she knew in her heart it was right. That we were meant to be together.
Guest user1: How would you describe the way you pursued her when you saw her/were around her in Bethesda?
MJ: Overwhelming shock and awe, never ending all out go for it and hold nothing back pursuit!
Guest user1: Why?
MJ: Because there was no way I was letting her go again. She is the only woman I have truly loved, and the best thing that’s ever happened to me besides the birth of my children.
Guest user1: I fucking love you MJ!
MJ: I’m sorry Ailam, but I love Malia!
Guest user1: I am Malia! I was being playful and I know you know that! Now tell me you love me!
MJ: I love you! I love you Malia! I love you Malia May Johnson!
Guest user1: Thank you for setting the record straight!
MJ: No problem! Anytime! I love you Malia. There are only 2 times I want to love you okay?
Guest user1: What? When?
MJ: Now and forever.
Guest user1: Me too! I am so sorry I tried to run away from you after we kissed at Bon Jovi!
MJ: You are so good of a person that you didn’t want to break up my marriage, even though we loved each other, and you knew we were right for each other.
Guest user1: Marcus, please send my man home. I know you guys are working on a big project tonight through this weekend, but tonight MJ is mine! No buts, no arguments, and no no’s! MJ, I am going to do things to you that your body has never had done to it. Why? Because you deserve it!
MJ: You don’t have to ask me twice. Marcus, I’ll see you tomorrow my friend. Baby you have the picture you took with him wearing the jersey? I can’t believe you still have that!
Guest user1: Dubs had it. Your phone had spyware on it even back then.
MJ: Oh yeah. I forgot.
Guest user1: But I still have the clod hops from that night. Want me to wear those to bed?
MJ: Hell yeah I do! Good night world! I gotta go get stuff done to me that has never been done to me before now. I love you Malia, and more every day!
Guest user1: Come here and let me show you how much I love you back. #youaintreadyforthis
