MJ: Why come 75 pounds of you is in your butt?
Malia: 75 pounds might be just a little bit much don’t ya think?
MJ: You must not be aware of the BBMI.
Malia: What is the BBMI?
MJ: BBMI is Big Butt Mass Index
Malia: What does the Big Butt Mass Index calculate?
MJ: It calculates if fat is distributed in the best way to create the perfect slim thick combination for maximum sexual pleasure.
Malia: I see.
MJ: No need to worry. Your body fat landed right. This is science. This is sexy science.
Malia: I am glad my butt has a high BBMI score.
MJ: My love, high Big Butt Mass Index butts have inspired and changed the world, and they need to be celebrated.
Malia: Good Lord! Are you going to push for a Big Butt National Holiday?
MJ: That is a great idea. Think about all of the nicknames big butts have inspired. Examples: Apple Bottom, Badunkadonk, Booty, Bottom Blessed, Bubble Butt, Bootylicious, Caboose, Junk in the Trunk, Money Maker, Rump, Sugar Bum, Tail-feather, The Cheeks, The Twerker, Tukhus, Whoppah, etc.
Malia: I have said it before and I will say it again- If I was a flat back, we would have one kid and probably have sex once a month. True or untrue?
MJ: I don’t know. What I do now is, a holiday dedicated to appreciating the body part that has inspired wars, sex, pregnancies, relationships, marriages, songs, memes, etc., needs to happen.
Malia: Name one big booty that has inspired a war.
MJ: Helen of Troy.
Malia: She had the face that launched a thousand ships.
MJ: She probably had a pretty face, but read this- What is behind the face that launched a thousand ships? – https://scholarship.richmond.edu/honors-theses/27/#:~:text=The%20character%20of%20Helen%20of,that%20launched%20a%20thousand%20ships%E2%80%9D.
Malia: It talks about her beauty and love.
MJ: I interpreted it as what was behind her face, which was most likely a big butt.
MJ: In any case, you have the booty that changed my world. Malia May Johnson’s Butt is “The 8th Wonder of My World!”
Malia: I wish you were here so you could be on my butt.
MJ: If I was there, your butt would be under siege right now.
Malia: I/it will be here waiting for your return. Hey, I have a question for you. I was reading the lesson plans you wrote for the class you are going to teach at the new American Cyber University. I can’t wait to see the “MJ The Terrible” statue when it is finished. What exactly is cyber psychological warfare?
MJ: Cyber Psychological Warfare is the planned tactical use of propaganda, threats, and other non-combat cyber techniques during wars, threats of war, and periods of geopolitical unrest to mislead, intimidate, demoralize, or otherwise influence the thinking and/or behavior of your enemy.
Malia: How does an amazing father and husband like you who is so loving, kind, and gentle to his family teach in class and use in the real world cyber psychological warfare? Make it make sense.
MJ: Because as much as I wish it weren’t true, there are bad guys out there in the world that want to hurt us, and they cannot be reasoned with, or negotiated with, or bargained with. All they respect is force and strength. And one of the best tools we have to keep those bad guys from trying to do bad things to us is cyber psychological warfare.
Malia: I know you do what you do to keep us safe. Thank you and I love you and support you.
MJ: Evil gets their occasional victory. That said, do you know why good will always triumph over evil in the end?
Malia: Why?
MJ: The side of good fights for love. The side of bad fights for hate.
Malia: I know you are one of the good guys. I can see it in your eyes.
MJ: I love you and our family more than anything. I would die to protect you and keep you safe.
Malia: Well don’t die because we need you. Your mom just got here. Text or call later if you can. Maybe you could video call tonight or something? Anyway, I love you and bye for now. XOXO
American Cyber University Honor and MJ The Terrible Bots – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/american-cyber-university-honor-and-mj-the-terrible-bots/
