“We just fucking broke the bed. No wait, we just broke the bed fucking. After we do it some more, remind me to get a sturdier bed. Something tells me we’re going to need it.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“Every time we’re about to argue, we should have sex immediately. Have you ever heard of people fighting after sex? Because I haven’t.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“Okay, we had sex once. Now we don’t have to have sex again for 6 months. Just kidding! I actually want to stay married.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“I’m no sex expert, but that sex right there was porno movie quality sex. If that was being videoed, and I didn’t care about what our future children would think, I would so submit that to the porno movie awards people, because damn!” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“We should just move the refrigerator into the bedroom. That way we never have to leave the bedroom.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“That’s nice baby. Start taking your pants off while you tell me about it. I have been horny all day. If you still remember what you are talking about right now, after I get done with you, tell me about it then. Now shut up and fuck me!” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“I had such a shitty day. I have all of this negative energy inside of me right now. Let’s go in the bedroom, and you can fuck it out of me, so I can go back to being happy again.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“Baby, do you know what they call a girl who likes to have sex before she gets married? A slut! Do you know what they call a girl who likes to have sex after she gets married? An awesome wife!” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“Is it wrong that I want to write your ex-wife a thank you email for messing things up with you? I’m just kidding. She was so evil. She doesn’t deserve a thank you anything. If I was going to write her a thank you email though, here’s what it would say- “I wanted to take a minute while I’m laying here in bed naked with MJ, to say thank you. Thank you for being such a shitty wife. If you would have been a good wife, I wouldn’t be married to the man of my dreams right now. I’m sorry that you are all depressed, and you have to see a therapist, a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist, you’re on a monster amount of happy pills, and you are still miserable, but you did do it to yourself. Anyway, I am going to keep this short. I have a sexy naked man in my bed right now, and he deserves my attention, if you know what I mean? Sincerely, The Happiest Girl In The World! Mrs. Malia Johnson” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“Do you know what I hate about your penis right now? That it’s not inside of me! We should change that.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“What does it say about me that you are walking around the house singing “I used to love her, but I had to kill her”, you kiss me and tell me you love me, while you’re singing the song, and yet somehow I have never loved you more. I don’t know. Why don’t we just get naked and have sex?” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“You look just like the man I’m about to have sex with. I don’t care what you are in the middle of, and I don’t care how busy you are. There’s only one thing that you should be doing right now, and that’s me.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“Baby, I am so sorry! I didn’t know how to put the little accent thingy over the e. Guns N Roses is a wine tasting event. I can’t believe you thought we were going to see the band Guns N Roses. I’m sorry baby. That’s why god invented blow jobs, for moments like this, to make things right.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“Baby, ejaculating is not the internet version of ejaculating. Just because a word has an e in front of it, it doesn’t make it an internet thing. Ebooks are internet books. Ejaculating is not an internet thing. What, did you think the non internet version was, jaculating? OMG! I know you’re Mr. Computer Hacker “MJ The Terrible” and all, but some things will always be better offline. One of them is ejaculating! Come upstairs and I’ll prove it to you right now!” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
“This is not a booty call post baby. This is business. Not strictly for pleasure. I know you have things to do today, but please put me on your “to do” list. I am ovulating. Soooooo…..I need you to come take care of business asap! Love, Me” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be to another person)
The World Famous “Mother Fucker” Sex Post – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/the-world-famous-mother-fucker-sex-post/
