Malia: Baby, I have good news for you! Today, tomorrow, and Wednesday, you are on vacation. I coordinated with Tarica, Marcus, Brittany, etc., to make sure everything was covered, so that you could take 3 days off, rest, and spend time at home with us. You don’t have to do anything but love on us for the next 3 days.
MJ: I have 2 quick things I need to get done. Then I am all in on your plan.
Malia: I thought you might say something like that, so I planned accordingly.
MJ: I love your plan. I’ll be done with my work stuff in less than an hour. Do you know where my Adderall is?
Malia: I told you I planned accordingly because I know you Michael David Johnson!
MJ: Where is my laptop?
Malia: I told you I planned accordingly because I know you Michael David Johnson!
MJ: You sent me the same reply text twice.
Malia: Because the answer is the same to both questions.
MJ: Did you hide my Adderall and my laptop?
Malia: I told you I planned accordingly because I know you Michael David Johnson!
MJ: That is the same reply text now 3 times in a row!
Malia: Brittany came to pick up your laptop and your Adderall early this morning. You have been a workaholic for several months straight. You are taking 3 days off whether you like it or not. It is for your own good. I love you enough to force this on you.
MJ: I am calling the police on Brittany. I’m considering my laptop and Adderall stolen. And I have not been a workaholic for “several months straight”.
Malia: I gave Brittany your laptop and Adderall. She did not steal anything, and you know it. Here is a quick workaholic recap for you. You worked night and day for President Biden’s administration. You were in a plane crash. The Bethesda CC Father of the Year. Donation to the UN for the COVID19 relief fund. You worked around the clock on the Cyber Intelligence company acquisition. You have been working on the movie. Last night you won the Opportunity For All award from Jesse Jackson. You spend a lot of time talking to and working with lawyers. You have been working for the government on the whole big Russian cyber-attack ordeal. You have been working with the U.S. Space Force. This isn’t half of the full list. You need a break, and we, the people who care about you, carefully planned this 3 day vacation for you.
MJ: I don’t like that yall planned this without telling me about it.
Malia: Don’t start a fight Michael David Johnson! I can see you in your office looking for your laptop and your meds. You are wasting your time. I gave them to Brittany.
MJ: I can’t even have my medication from my doctor for 3 days?
Malia: You are supposed to take a break from it occasionally. I called Dr. Frincke, and told her about our 3 day, no meds, no work staycation. She thought it was a great idea!
MJ: You can plan a 3 day vacation for me, but not with me? Why didn’t you plan this with me?
Malia: I tried too. Every time I brought it up, you kept telling me- “We’ll do it later, when I get this or that done.” I brought it up I bet at least 20 times. Every time you put me off. I am your wife, and my opinion needs to count. I know you are the go to guy for things that only you know how to do and fix. I know that. I get it. You are special, but you deserve a break.
MJ: Whatever
Malia: Please don’t text anymore until you calm down. Just stay in your office until you calm down. Take a deep breath. This is a good thing. You/we are on vacation. Can we please enjoy it?
MJ: Sure thing boss lady.
Malia: I can tell you are in a mood right now. It will pass, and you will realize how much we love you, and forced this 3 day vacation on you for your own good. I am your wife. I love you very much. It is my job to take care of you, and that is what I am doing.
MJ: I understand. I’m not smart enough to manage my own life. I need it forced on me. Got it.
Malia: Stop texting until you calm down. I am trying to be patient with you.
MJ: Whatever you say boss lady.
Malia: I know, I am such a bitch, right? I organized a surprise 3 day vacation for my husband to be able to spend time with his family that loves him. Why don’t you want to spend 3 days with us? Don’t you dare tell me you have to get work done. Everything is covered. I worked hard to organize a family staycation for us at the perfect time, in between the projects you are working on, etc. I am warning you Michael David Johnson! You will be sorry if you send me another snarky text!
Malia: Well? Where is it? You might as well go ahead and send the snarky text message you are probably contemplating sending me. Go ahead. Send it! You will be staying in the guest house tonight but go ahead and send it if it will make you feel better to make me feel like shit.
MJ: 🙁
Malia: ……
MJ: I’m sorry. Not that I didn’t believe you, but I looked back through our communications, and you did try a lot to get me to take a few days to rest/spend some quality time with you and the kids. I guess I just feel like I have to handle everything myself, or things will fall apart. You and the kids are more important to me than anything. I would quit everything tomorrow if you wanted me to. You know that, right?
Malia: I love you. I only want what is best for you, and what will make you happy. I know we mean more to you than anything. And I don’t want you to quit anything. I want 3 days! Give me 3 days and then you can go right back to being Maximum Overdrive The Terrible.
MJ: You are scary tough, you know that?
Malia: I have to be. I’m married to “MJ The Terrible”. I have to be ready for anything 24/7/365. It’s worth it though. At least you are looked at as an American hero now. In the early days of our relationship, Intelligence agencies, and international police, and militaries around the world thought you were a real life James Bond villain. That was awful, but again, worth it.
MJ: I want 3 full days with my babies!
Malia: Yeah! You know that thing you like to do sometimes in the bedroom? That is going to happen this afternoon. If you want it.
MJ: I do. I do. I’m not going to want our 3 day staycation to end.
Malia: 🙂 I thought you were going to stay mad, and I was going to hate myself for forcing a vacation on you.
MJ: At first, I didn’t see the full picture. I felt like I was being controlled. Once I saw the big picture, I realized you were just being the awesome loving wife that you are, and you were taking care of me. Thank you and I’m sorry.
Malia: I’m sorry too. I may have started off a little hostile when I surprised you with the staycation. I was kind of anticipating some pushback from you about it. In the end, I figured you would see that it was the right thing to do. I really love you!
MJ: Thank you for taking care of me for the last 9 years, and please keep taking care of me. I’ll make this my last text. Then I’m on staycation for 3 days, and I won’t have to text you, because I will be with you.
Malia: I will baby! I promise I will always take care of you. 3 days of us. I am so happy right now. #abouttohavethebest3daysever
20 Reasons I Love You Michael David Johnson – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/20-reasons-i-love-you-michael-david-johnson/
