Malia: Thank you for taking me to go see the new Barbie movie.
MJ: I enjoyed our date night.
Malia: I like how we indulge each other’s secret inner silliness. I watched Sharknado. You watched Barbie. Things like that.
MJ: That is how it should be.
Malia: Barbie was overwhelming girl power. I loved the female empowerment. I hated how Ken was such a woman hating loser. Ken sucks!
MJ: Exactly! Ryan Gosling should not play me in The Adventures of “MJ The Terrible” movie.
Malia: Did you take me to see Barbie because you knew Ryan Gosling was going to be a dip shit women hater and you don’t like him because I said he was “extremely attractive”?
Malia: Basically because of this- https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/mj-gets-jealous-of-the-actor-playing-him-in-the-adventures-of-mj-the-terrible-movie/
MJ: We promised to never lie to each other.
Malia: Then answer the question.
MJ: That is part of the reason I took you to see Barbie.
Malia: What are the other reasons you took me to see it?
MJ: The 2 biggest reasons are because I know you wanted to see it and I want to spend time with you. I did like the fact that “extremely attractive” Ryan Gosling was portrayed in a way that I knew would not make you think he was “extremely attractive.” I have always thought Ken was a tool.
Malia: You did not.
MJ: Yes I did, and I have proof! Boom- https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/triple-double-date-with-the-president-vice-president-and-gender-neutral-toys/
Malia: Oh my God! You did always think Ken was a tool. When you and your neighbor friend Meredith played Barbie growing up, you were either Hulk Hogan, Duke from GI Joe, or Sgt. Slaughter. I had forgotten about that. Sorry. I love you!
MJ: And I can’t wait to take you to the next Barbie movie.
Malia: Because Ken(Ryan Gosling) won’t be in it?
MJ: Because Barbie can finally be with her true love.
Malia: Ken is Barbie’s true love.
MJ: No he isn’t.
Malia: I played Barbie a lot as a kid. Barbie and Ken were a couple.
MJ: Sure they were, until Barbie’s true love came along.
Malia: Which was?
MJ: Hulk Hogan, Duke from GI Joe, or Sgt. Slaughter.
Malia: I fucking love you!
MJ: I think the next Barbie movie will be where Barbie finds true happiness in her post Ken debut.
Malia: In this Barbie 2 movie, does Cobra Commander attack Barbie’s city, and Hulk Hogan, Duke from GI Joe, or Sgt. Slaughter, help protect Barbie?
MJ: Something like that. In “Barbie 2: The Rise of The Power Couple” Ken hires Cobra Commander to attack Barbie’s city. Hulk Hogan, Duke from GI Joe, or Sgt. Slaughter are on vacation there. Hulk Hogan, Duke from GI Joe, or Sgt. Slaughter meet Barbie and boom, instant connection. They fall in love and Ken who is stalking her finds out about it. He hires Cobra Commander to attack Barbie’s city and ruin their happiness. Barbie and Hulk Hogan, Duke from GI Joe, or Sgt. Slaughter, ain’t havin any of that. Barbie and Hulk Hogan, Duke from GI Joe, or Sgt. Slaughter, band together and whoop Ken and Cobra Commanders gang’s ass and live happily ever after.
Malia: This is why I wanted to be with you and have your babies. You are a manly man in the truest sense of the word, but you use your manliness for good, to lift others up, not tear them down.
MJ: It is the only way I know how to be. I love you but I gotta go. I can’t text with you where I will be.
Malia: Are you going to be in a skiff?
MJ: Yes. Good memory. I will be in a SCIF(Skiff). I am surprised you remember that term. I’m impressed.
Malia: I will never forget it because your MJIA office at the old house was a skiff place, and I wasn’t allowed in there. And your new skiff office being built at our new house I won’t be allowed to go in there either. 🙁
MJ: Not my rules babe. Sorry. It is either a home office SCIF type of setup or I have to go work somewhere else. I love working at home because I get to be close to our family.
Malia: Me too. I understand, even if I don’t like being skiffed.
MJ: You turned it into a verb. I will text or call later. I love you smart and sexy girl.
Malia: K. I love you too and bye.
Malia and MJ Comparisons – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/malia-and-mj-comparisons/
