As many of you know, I was married once before, and so I wanted to do everything I possibly could to make Malia and I’s wedding uniquely special to us.
What I found out throughout the day yesterday, was I didn’t have to try to make Malia and I’s wedding uniquely special to us, because when you are marrying the right woman, it becomes uniquely special all on its own. I know I married my perfect match yesterday. I love you Malia!
For as perfect as the day was yesterday, we did have more than a few bloopers…..
#1. Malia, you made me promise not to use the word “boom” during our wedding vows, and then you said it!! I love you baby. (Everybody laughed, including me.)
#2. Kevin, you are insane! You got highly decorated military officials to hit their forks on their chest badges, if they didn’t have their drinking glasses close to them, every time the clinging glasses kiss thing broke out. I will remember that forever my friend!
#3. I am sorry I called the wedding reception the after party. Apparently that is a big no no. I could tell I shouldn’t have used the term after party so many times, because after the wedding reception was over, people started showing up at our apartment downtown or at our house in South Austin. Now, did we turn our unscheduled after party guests away? Absolutely not! Just because an after party wasn’t planned, well, what difference does it make? After all, these are our wedding guests, so they are all close friends, family, etc, so bring on the after party! Oops! Did I say after party? I meant parties! That’s right! Since some people showed up at our condo, and some people showed up at our house, we actually had 2 after parties!
#4. Tarica Patel (aka BABB), you are hilariously insane when you get drunk! When you were kidding Chris and he walked out, and then I walked in and you tried to kiss me, but I pushed you away, and you thought Chris was pushing you away and you slapped him, that was such a memorable moment.
#5. Thank you Austin Police Department for not arresting Kevin. He was just trying to be funny. He was trying to rap when he was yelling “Fuck the Police” and “187 on an undercover cop”.
#6. Malia, you and everybody who was in on y’alls “my water broke” prank, can all kiss my ass!
Malia yelled- “My water broke!” Kevin and Chris pointed towards the parking lot, and were yelling- “MJ, go get your car. You gotta get Malia to the hospital!” I ran outside and see my car blocked in by all of these other cars, so what do I do? That’s right, I bumped the car blocking mine, so I could get out, and when I pulled up in front of the door to pick Malia up to get her to the hospital, Malia, Chris and Kevin were laughing their asses off! That now makes 4 cars Malia or I have wrecked in the last 6 months! Allstate, please renew our auto policy when it comes up for renewal next month!
#7. The other memorable blooper was carrying Malia across the threshold last night. I carried her back and forth across the threshold 3 times, once for her, and once for each of the twins. On the third time across, I slipped and we ended up landing on the couch, which ended up being the “Mother Fucking Wedding Couch.” (About 10 seconds after we finished, we had to throw our clothes back on, because our unscheduled after party guests started showing up.)
