Malia: Baby, if I change my mind, a million times. I wanna hear you say- Yeah! Yeah, I like it that way! Any man of mine – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N2k-gv6xNE MJ: Wow! Baby, I didn’t know you listened to country. Malia: I’m from the country. MJ: Country western Malia: Well, I am from the country….. of South Africa. lol MJ: You are…
Before The Event Mr. Fanning: How nervous is our boy Mali J? Will you be accompanying MJ to dinner this evening? Did he shave? Please make sure he looks sharp. I stuck my neck out on this and I’m now a former, which means we need him at his best. Malia: Hey Mr. F. MJ has been in the shower…
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, My name is Shawn Higgins, and I represent Vivid International Studios. My clients are interested in producing an adult film based on an encounter yourself and Mrs. Johnson wrote about on the internet. The “Mother Fucker” post has approximately 4,000 likes, has been clicked on 51,000,000 times, and is in Facebook’s top 25,000 most clicked…
I was feeling unattractive last night because MJ turned me down for sex, and that never happens. Now I know why. He found out a close friend of his died right before he came to bed. Captain Raymond Lutz, a close friend of MJ’s passed away from a heart attack. He was only 47 years young. I didn’t know your…
Tarica Patel(BABB): Now you messed up MJ! Malia is crying! MJ: For real? Tarica Patel(BABB): Yes MJ: About the dating post? Tarica Patel(BABB): Yes MJ: I wrote a real one. Chris thought it would be funny to write an anti dating post. Besides, I didn’t want to write a dating post for her. I would rather die then let another…
All of us girls are at the apartment downtown. MJ and the boys are at MJ’s house in South Austin. This is BABB btw. Those boys won’t leave us alone. There was a knock at the door. It was a male stripper wearing a costume. When the stripper pulled off his mask, IT WAS KEVIN! For some reason we asked…
I can hear you 2 shitheads! If I even smell a hint of beer in Elizabeth’s room, or you spill something, I’m pregnant with “MJ The Terrible’s” twins, so I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to claim temporary insanity for killing you both. MJ’s buddy Kevin is here for the wedding, so let the bromance begin. Kevin and MJ have already…
You asked me not to reproduce the letter, but you said you wouldn’t mind if I commented on it, so here it goes- 1. “Don’t try to blow up the world again.” MJ comment: Yes, I promise I wont try to blow up the world again! (Ha! Ha!) 2. “The next time you decide to invent something, it better be…
Malia: Well look at you “Martin Luther The Terrible”. Do you have a digital dream baby? I love you MJ. Thanks for always having my back. I’m adding up how much money you do have after you gave most of it away. If you are poor now, you can live with me for free, but I’m taxing natures credit card…
Malia: MJ, it is 4 o’clock in the morning! Stop working on your oil pump rig project and come pump me! Come up here! Today is Martin Luther King Day, I’m black, and I’m pregnant. What does that mean? That means Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson, that I’m ready for a mother fuckin, and if you don’t do it, you…