Malia: We have a stupid amount of sex. How am I not pregnant yet? MJ: We have 7 kids! We know how to get pregnant. You don’t wiggle your nose like the “I Dream of Jeannie” girl and we’re pregnant. Malia: Do you think we should see a fertility specialist because I’m old now and my womb might be broken?…
MJ: I know we are trying to get pregnant again. Are we going to do the Lemans classes when we do again? Malia: I don’t know. Sounds like fun don’t you think? MJ: At this point I can swaddle a baby one handed. Malia: Do you think it would last 24 hours? MJ: Why would it last 24 hours? The…
MJ: What are you up to my love? Malia: I’m looking for a job. MJ: No Malia: Are you telling me no? MJ: No, but can we talk about it first? I always support you, but right now with trying to get pregnant, and with being a stay at home mom of 7, and with all that you already do,…
My Favorite Quotes From People That I Know Volume 74 by Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson: “The odds are almost always against you. If a person lets that stop them, they will never do anything.” Matthew McConaughey “When you have fucked up huge, owning up to it is the best way to start making amends for whatever you did.” Former…
Malia: Baby your travel detail is here. Where are you taking me? MJ: Over there Malia: Over where? MJ: Can I tell you something? Malia: Yes MJ: You don’t have to keep getting ready. You are already the prettiest girl I have ever seen. You can just declare you are ready and we can go. Malia: I’m almost ready. Give…
Malia: Baby we need you to be our Guinea pig. My friend that you nicknamed Buttons the first time you met her and her husband are having relationship problems. She came over crying a little while ago. She wants to save her marriage. Will you help us? MJ: Sure. What can I do? Malia: We have some questions that we…
Malia: What has she been doing to you? MJ: Who? Malia: That woman! MJ: What that woman? Malia: You tell me. Malia: PMS warning alert. I love you and you know I can’t control it. I try though. Please don’t hate me if I’m a bitch to you. I will make it up to you I promise. MJ: It’s all…
The days and months of the year when we are trying to get pregnant my love….. Days Make her moan Monday Two times Tuesday Wednesday…..Hump Day of course Try new things Thursday Freaky Friday Lick and suck Saturday Bedroom fun day Sunday Months Jamitinuary Make Loveuary March into the bedroom April suckin brings May fuckin Makin a baby May Just…
MJ: Buttallion Malia: What? What? MJ: In the butt! MJ: You remember that? Malia: You and everything about our family is important to me. MJ: I constantly fall in love with you over and over again. Do you feel that way to? Malia: Not really. I married you because you got a big dick, make cute babies, and you munch…
Malia: Today has been a wanna pull my hair out frustration fest. MJ: Want me to hold you and tell you everything will be ok? Malia: Because I’m a little woman and I need a big strong man to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay? MJ: I thought you liked it when I hold…