Malia: I really miss you when you are gone. XOXO
Malia: Is everything ok? Usually, you text back within a few hours tops. I couldn’t sleep without you last night. I know I complain sometimes because you move a lot in your sleep, and I wake up in WWE wrestling holds most nights, but I can’t sleep without you! I miss you so much even when you are only gone a couple of days!
Malia: Can you text back a quick “I’m ok” please? I am starting to worry. I’m sure you’re ok. I’m just emotional today.
MJ: “I’m ok”
Malia: “I’m ok”?
MJ: I am pissy today. Can I cool off before we text/talk? I don’t want to say something I don’t mean accidentally.
Malia: Are you mad at me?
MJ: Please baby. I’m not mad exactly. I’m stressed and pissy.
Malia: I know you Michael David Johnson!! You slept through a plane crash! You don’t get rattled easily. What is bothering you so much you are not texting me?
MJ: “Ugh! I don’t want to say. All 3 Ryan’s are attractive. I’m afraid to answer, because there is a good chance Ryan Gosling is going to play MJ in the Adventures of MJ The Terrible movie, and I don’t want MJ to worry about me being around Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling recently flew to Maryland to meet MJ. We had dinner with him, and I would never cheat on MJ, but Ryan Gosling is extremely attractive. I hope MJ doesn’t get upset over this. When I told him that Keanu Reeves was my Hollywood crush while we were watching the movie Speed, MJ said- “Blow the bus up.”, because Keanu Reeves’ character was on a bus in the movie.”
Malia: You are mad at my answer to a question on the online q&a I did?
MJ: He hugged you, and you jokingly called him “MJ The Terrible”, and you think he is “extremely attractive”!
Malia: Somehow, I knew this was what it was. Are you forgetting the part where I said I would never cheat on you, and I hope you don’t get upset about this?
MJ: So, Ryan Gosling is “extremely attractive”?
Malia: Oh my God! Baby! I was trying to pump him up since he is probably going to be playing you in The Adventures of MJ The Terrible movie. The movie is about you. The movie isn’t called The Adventures of Ryan Gosling. You should feel honored baby.
MJ: I feel “extremely” honored.
Malia: Would you blow up the whole movie just so Ryan Gosling never is around me?
MJ: Personally, I don’t think we need to have an “MJ The Terrible” movie. Or maybe Captain America could play me.
Malia: Chris Evans
MJ: Is he “Extremely attractive” to you?
Malia: Answer the question.
MJ: What question?
Malia: Would you blow up the whole movie just so Ryan Gosling never is around me?
MJ: Yep
Malia: Are you really that jealous? I love you. Thinking someone is attractive is not cheating. I would never cheat on you. Never ever ever!
MJ: I have an idea. I’m going to call the big glasses guy and tell him I want Charlize Theron to play you in the movie. Are you ok with that?
Malia: By big glasses guy, do you mean the producer of the movie Martin Scorsese?
MJ: Yeah
Malia: Why do you want her to play me in the movie?
MJ: Because she is “extremely attractive”!
MJ: You know what? I’m going to learn how to act and play myself in the movie. Then I will have god knows how many love making scenes with Malia Theron! What do you think about that?
MJ: Malia?
MJ: Pick up the phone. I’m trying to call you.
MJ: Baby pick up. I have tried to call you like 20 times.
Malia: I don’t want to.
MJ: Why not?
Malia: Because
MJ: Because why?
Malia: Because you want to have movie sex with someone else.
MJ: You think Ryan whatshisnuts is “extremely attractive”, and I can’t stand the thought of you with him or any other guy.
Malia: I love you. I wish I never said that comment. I just love you. I only said he was “extremely attractive” because I want to support all things you, and he is going to be playing you in your movie.
MJ: Is it too late to take my hateful comments back?
Malia: You mean you don’t want to call the “The Big Glasses Guy” and try to get Charlize Theron to play me in the movie and you be yourself in the movie so you can have naked movie love making scenes with her?
MJ: I just wanted to make you jealous and pissy like I felt. I’m sorry.
Malia: You called her Malia Theron. I knew that’s what you were doing. You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m the one that has to worry. The Adventures of MJ The Terrible movie is going to make you super famous. And you know what fame equals.
MJ: Money?
Malia: Road whores! Bitches will be throwing themselves at you more than they already do now!
MJ: I couldn’t sleep last night either. I miss hearing my family’s sounds to sleep too. I miss hearing you grind your teeth like a velociraptor when you sleep. I miss baby sleeping noises and breathing. It was impossible to sleep without it.
Malia: Tonight is family night. We will spend it together as a family.
MJ: I’m cool with watching the Orgy girl movie tonight if you want. It’s your turn to pick anyway.
Malia: I speak MJ, but I have no clue what you are talking about baby.
MJ: I can’t remember the name of the movie. I only saw the bottom of the screen where one of the last names of the people on the screen was Orji. On the preview it talked about people randomly blowing up.
Malia: Oh! Gotcha! The movie is called Spontaneous, with Yvonne Orgi. I love you baby!
Malia: I promise I will love you forever and only be yours!
Malia: I said- I promise I will love you forever and only be yours!
Malia: Do you promise you will love me forever and always be mine?
Malia: Michael David Johnson!
Malia: Are you mad at me again?
Malia: Well I love you even if you are mad at me again.
Dubs (Head of Security For The Johnson Family): MJ’s phone died. He asked me to text you that he “Extremely” loves you and he wants to watch the orgy movie or something like that with you tonight. He also wanted me to tell you something negative about myself. I am not going to do that. He will see you tonight.
Malia: Please tell MJ I “extremely” love him too. Thanks Brit! I appreciate you passing our messages back and forth.
My Favorite Quotes From People That I Know Volume 23 by Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/my-favorite-quotes-from-people-that-i-know-volume-23-by-michael-mj-the-terrible-johnson/
