Hello! I am Megan Ayers. I was asked to write a post for MJ’s blog. They said I could write whatever I wanted to. Here is what I decided to write.
I have known MJ and his friend/body double Chris for 15 years. I met MJ at Sam’s Boat House bar and grill in Austin, Texas, by accident. My boyfriend at the time had just broken up with me, and I wanted to get completely shit-faced to forget about it. Sam’s Boat House was walking distance from my apartment, so I walked over there and proceeded to drink my ass off.
MJ was at Sam’s with his old boss/friend Derron. I didn’t know MJ. I met him at The Boat when he accidentally spilled his giant sized 20 ounce beer all down the front of my white sun dress.
I was standing behind him. He turned around and spilled his entire big beer all over my new white dress and into my cowgirl boots.
MJ said “Oh my God! I am so sorry. Let me get some napkins.” MJ started using the giant roll of napkins from the bar to dab my completely soaked dress.
I started crying and put my hands over my face. MJ whispered in my ear “Everything is going to be ok. I promise I will stay with you until I fix this.”
He took me into the lady’s room. I leaned up against the wall while he continued to dab me with paper towels. I noticed he kept dabbing my tits. I asked him if he was going to dab anything else besides my tits. He said “I’m sorry. I’m horny but I promise I only dabbed the wet spots.”
I remember laughing because I could tell he was telling the truth, and he was really cute.
I asked him if he thought I was pretty. He said “Uh huh. I would ask you if you wanted to come hang out with me and my friend Derron, but you probably hate me because I spilled my drink on you.”
I told him I didn’t hate him. I told him I wished I had something to cover up with and boots that weren’t filled with beer. He said, “Do you trust me?” I said “No. Not really. I just met you.” He said “Good point. Don’t move. I’ll be right back. I have an idea.”
He came back 10 minutes later with a Longhorns t-shirt and some flip flops for me to wear. I thought his gesture was so sweet. I told him I would come sit with him and his friend for a while. We ended up hitting it off.
One time when MJ and I were dating we drove down to the beach. MJ wanted to stay out at the beach, and I wanted to go to this party MJ’s friend Edea was having. MJ asked me if I would put suntan lotion on him before I went back to the room to get ready to go to the party. He stayed out in the sun for a couple more hours. When he came back in, he was severely burnt. He said, “I thought you put sunscreen on.” I told him he said suntan lotion, not sunscreen. Sorry MJ!
I should probably talk about the tattoos. MJ, Chris and 2 of their buddies decided to get the same fire breathing dragon tattoos. I went with them. MJ’s 3 buddies got their tattoos first from guy tattoo artists. When it was MJ’s turn to get his tattoo, this girl did it. The girl was all over him. The tattoo was on his arm, but for some reason she had her hands all over his chest, and his back. The bitch got in his lap at one point. I started causing a scene because I got pissed off. We ended up leaving before MJ’s tattoo was finished. The dragon part was done, but the fire breathing part didn’t get finished. He had to go back another day for that part.
It was hard to date MJ because girls were always hitting on him and flirting with him. He wasn’t trying to hit on girls or flirt back. He isn’t good with girls like that. He is clumsy cute is what I called it. One time we went shopping for clothes for him. I went to check to see if our watch batteries had been replaced yet. When I got back, this 20 year old big titty bitch with a name like Heidi was in the changing room helping him change his clothes. MJ said “Hey babe. This is Heidi. She’s the best. She is so helpful.” I was nice then, but I went off on him later. The hard part about going off on MJ about something like that is MJ actually thinks “Heidi” was being nice, but I know Heidi wanted his dick.
MJ and I dated for about a year. I broke up with him because I wanted to get married and have babies, and he wasn’t ready for that yet.
I met Chris Hubbard (MJ#2) when Chris came to visit MJ in Texas. MJ was living at Riata, an apartment complex in North Austin.
I had fun with Chris, but he broke up with me because I got way into drugs for a minute, and he didn’t want to be with a “coke head”. We only dated for a few months. Chris was like my second one that got away.
Chris and MJ are just like brothers. MJ’s mom even treats Chris like her son. When MJ moved to Austin, Texas in 2004, from Akron, Ohio, Chris used to go by MJ’s parents’ house in Akron and check on his mom/family every month.
Here are the similarities and differences between MJ and Chris.
MJ is 3 years older than Chris.
MJ was born in 1980. Chris was born in 1983.
MJ is left handed. Chris is right handed.
I dated MJ and Chris at different times. I dated MJ before he met his crazy ex-wife “Gotye” as they call her on the internet stories.
I dated Chris before he got together with Brittany White (Dubs).
I have slept with both of them at different times. MJ is the best at oral. I don’t know who taught him how to go down on a girl, but holy fucking shit can he lick a clit!
MJ and Chris are both well equipped. They both have big dicks that curve to the left.
MJ has fingernail marks in his arm his best friend Lorie gave him in the 3rd grade. Chris doesn’t have the fingernail marks.
MJ’s eyes are clear blue like the sky. Chris’s eyes are brown. They both have switch out contacts if they need to look alike. They had those before all the MJ The Terrible events where shit got real.
They both are loyal to the end friends. They both are good guys. They both are from Ohio. They both went to college at the University of Akron in Ohio.
Chris is more of a laid back country boy. MJ is laid back but there is a rock and roll edge to him. MJ is like your daddy, and Chris is like your big brother.
Chris is good at the basics of life. MJ is horrible at the basics of life, but great at the difficult things in life. MJ probably doesn’t know how to boil water, but he could turn the stove into a transforming zombie fighting robot if he had to.
If there was a zombie apocalypse, I would try to find MJ, because his skills on the basics of life might suck, but he is a born survivor/leader. I would definitely be more afraid of MJ if I double crossed him. Chris would just beat your ass. MJ would probably let 5 years pass and let you think he forgot about it, and the next thing you know you wake up naked strapped to a chair and you realize you’re in a real life version of a Saw movie.
Chris is better at sports than MJ. Chris is a naturally talented athlete. Chris was more athletic than MJ before MJ’s subdural hematoma brain surgery also.
I feel bad for MJ at times. He’s rich, well respected, an American hero, has a wife that loves him, and a growing family, but he carries the weight of the world around on his shoulders. I know he only deals with the most serious national and international crisis situations.
Thank you Chris for putting me in touch with Malia. Thank you Malia for letting MJ help me with my recent scary problem. MJ, thank you for helping me. I was desperate. You were the only person I could think of who would know what to do. You didn’t have to do what you did, but you did it anyway. I am sorry I let you burn in the sun, and I am sorry I broke up with you the way I did. I will always owe you for this. I am forever in your debt.
Sincerely,
Megan Ayers
What kind of friend is Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson? – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/what-kind-of-friend-is-michael-mj-the-terrible-johnson/
