Malia: Baby, you are going to have to be a single parent for a while when I’m in jail.
MJ: Over the necklace?
Malia: Yes! I literally stole it.
MJ: You went back and paid for it.
Malia: Well sort of, in a pay it forward kind of way.
MJ: You told me you went back and paid for it.
Malia: Don’t laugh, but I just realized I went to the wrong store and paid for the necklace.
Malia: Are laughing at me? Tell the truth!
MJ: Not laughing, but I am smiling in a this is a funny situation kind of way.
Malia: I am a felon. I’m going to the slammer and that is all there is to it.
Malia: I am going to have to become a lesbian and pick a gang to join.
MJ: “The Pretty Rich Bitches”
Malia: Baby!!!
MJ: Baby how much money have you spent at the store you accidentally left the necklace on and ran out the door to grab our child who accidentally walked out the door when someone opened it?
Malia: I am not telling you.
MJ: Which is code for a lot. How much was the necklace you accidentally left the store wearing keeping our child safe?
Malia: I think $200. It was a charm necklace.
MJ: Is this the purse store? The numbered fancy Hermes purses store?
Malia: Yeah
MJ: Each one of those purses is like 25 grand.
Malia: And your point is?
MJ: That store loves you! They fall all over themselves to kiss your ass every time you walk through the door.
Malia: Do you think less of me? Should I be punished?
MJ: No. What do you want me to do, make you sleep on the couch?
Malia: You want me to sleep on the couch? 🙁
MJ: No. I am only teasing you. All I am saying is everyone makes mistakes. Your mistake was an innocent one.
MJ: Do you want me to call the store and tell them what happened?
Malia: If you think that is best, yes.
MJ: Ok. I am going to call them. I will let you know what happens.
Notes- I called the store and spoke with the manager. The manager was very understanding. He insisted that Malia keep the charm necklace as a token of their appreciation for our business. I thanked him and told him I’m sure we will be shopping there again soon. Then he told me about Hermès new bags for summer collection. I told him I would tell Malia about it, and that was the end of the call.
Then I called Malia and told her what happened, and she thanked me.
The following texts happened about an hour after Malia and I’s call.
Malia: I have good news!
MJ: What is it?
Malia: 1. I am not going to jail because my husband is awesome. 2. The new Astonishing Hermès’ bags inspired by the Maison’s equestrian heritage are out for summer.
MJ: 2 hours ago you were worried about going to jail. Now you are talking about shopping.
Malia: Shopping relieves stress. 10 out of 10 women would agree with that statement.
MJ: I can’t judge you to much because I have been looking up boats for when we move.
Malia: Nice. What kinda boats are you looking at?
MJ: So far I found 2 that I really like. The first one is a Azimut Grande 27 METRI. The second one I like is a Galeon 680 Fly.
MJ: Here are a some photos of the Azimut Grande 27 METRI
MJ: Here are some pics of the Galeon 680 Fly.
MJ: I gotta go. Tarica is calling me. I love you bye
Malia: Okay. We will have to go look at them in person to see which one we like more but based on the pictures I really like the Azimut Grande. I love you to and bye
The Johnson’s Are Moving! – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/the-johnsons-are-moving/
