Malia: Are you still listening to and watching the recordings and videos from your old house when you were with me in Bethesda?
MJ: No comment.
Malia: Is Panty Gate still going on?
MJ: No. That died down.
Malia: Any new juicy stuff?
MJ: Not really. Chris deserves an academy award for his fake back injury performances though. Do you know if Chris knew Gotye was in the process of setting me/him up?
Malia: He knew. Did she mention to her friends, the one she got the lawyer recco from, or the other one, that she was setting you up, versus you actually being a bad guy?
MJ: Yes.
Malia: Does that bother you?
MJ: It will sound like I’m lying, but no.
Malia: I know some of that had to bother you.
MJ: It did. She had my mom babysit CJ, so she could go meet with her divorce lawyer. That bothered me.
Malia: That’s all that bothered you? I thought this would be way more emotional for you.
MJ: Babe, I’ve seen how this movie ends. The guy gets the girl, his son, his family, a medal from the President, becomes an internet millionaire, who lives a dream life/lifestyle, etc. Truth be told, when she was at her worst, Chris was the one that had to deal with her.
Malia: I see what you mean. I like being the girl the guy gets in the movie. Great guy!
MJ: I like being the guy that gets the girl in the movie. Great girl too!
Malia: Do you ever miss her?
MJ: All the time.
Malia: WTF???
MJ: Baby, you have to know I’m kidding on that one. She was horrible to me!
Malia: BABB said she heard you crying earlier. What part made you cry? When she went in your bedroom and told you she was interested in separating?
MJ: No. Pedro(the cat) was making these horrible pain noises, and had to be put down. It was sad. I loved that friggin cat.
Malia: Her telling you she wanted to separate didn’t upset you?
MJ: No. The only issue is time with CJ. Other than that…..BYE! How did Chris cry on command in some of those situations?
Malia: I don’t know. That’s his world. I’m sure he had a method.
MJ: I did skip ahead and watch her dad’s funeral. I can’t believe they all knew she was leaving me, and I was down there being all nice to her family and shit.
Malia: Baby, I love you, but you weren’t at the funeral. That was Chris(MJ2).
MJ: You know what I’m saying. If you haven’t seen it yet, you have to see the moment in her car after the funeral, when she is a total bitch to me(MJ2). I think that is the moment where even if I was him in that moment, I would have/he deserved to be able to let her have it. (Words, not fists.)
Malia: I can’t believe you’re not more sad. It feels weird that you’re not. I guess our lives are weirder than most though.
MJ: I know why I wasn’t that sad.
Malia: Why?
MJ: Will you do me a favor?
Malia: …..
MJ: Will you go in the bathroom and let me know when you’re in there?
Malia: Here.
MJ: The person in the mirror you’re looking at right now is the reason.
Malia: I was going to fuss at you for making me get out of bed, but awwwwww!!!
MJ: You are the one and only love of my life and wife.
Malia: What about Gotye?
MJ: She was many things. She was a surrogate, a placeholder until Mrs Right came along(you), and I’m sure some other things.
Malia: Her last name was Johnson.
MJ: Keyword- WAS! It has already been changed. She was only warming it up for you baby.
Malia: I hope Gotye finds happiness.
MJ: Are you going to help her find it?
Malia: No. She made the shitty bed she’s lying in, but I am hoping she can make a nicer bed for herself, or fix up the one she has right now.
MJ: Ditto. The faster she can get to a better place in life, the better it is for everybody involved.
