Malia: Baby, you do the weirdest things.
MJ: Huh?
Malia: You randomly sent an idea for a commercial to the company Angie’s List. What motivated you to do that?
MJ: I don’t know really. I saw an Angie’s List commercial on tv and I thought it sucked. Then I heard the Rolling Stone’s song “Angie” and I put 2 and 2 together.
Malia: Don’t get me wrong. I liked your commercial idea, but most people don’t do things like that.
MJ: I guess I’m not most people. I didn’t put a lot of thought or time into it or anything.
Malia: Ideas and creativity and horniess just flows out of you.
MJ: Horniess is flowing out of me right now. Maybe my horniness could flow out of me and into you?
Malia: What? I never would have guessed you would have turned that into foreplay. Lol!
MJ: Foreplay? That’s not on my mind at all.
Malia: No?
MJ: No.
Malia: And just what is on your mind Mr. Johnson?
MJ: Crime
Malia: No way! I don’t believe you.
MJ: I have a confession.
Malia: I know you’re horny baby.
MJ: You must be a mind reader. I have crime and passion on my mind.
Malia: I’m down.
MJ: Will you help me commit a crime of passion?
Malia: Yes! I believe a crime of passion is listed under criminal code 69.
MJ: Laws were made to be broken baby.
Malia: I think it’s rules that are meant to be broken.
MJ: I’m willing to go to jail for what I believe in. There should not be a law against crimes of passion.
Malia: We could protest the law by having a protest.
MJ: I want to break your water.
Malia: That is possible.
MJ: I want to break your water.
Malia: You break it you bought it.
MJ: I want to break it and bought it.
Malia: Are you going to have the doctor “customize my vagina to make it good as new” again after I give birth this time?
MJ: Un huh. I’m going to have him upgrade it to the maximum.
Malia: Upgrade? I get customize but how could it be upgraded?
MJ: This is 2021. I think it’s time to go green. You know, zero emissions and what not.
Malia: Good intentions baby, but vaginas are already zero emissions.
MJ: Let’s just do it now ok?
Malia: K. Can I come to you?
MJ: Come over to the “Home Office of Love” when you’re ready.
Malia: Ok “MJ The Water Breaker”.
MJ: Well, your water might not break during sex. It was just an expression.
Malia: We shall see. 😉
“Custom Built Vagina” by Malia May Johnson – https://therealmjtheterrible.com/custom-built-vagina-by-malia-may-johnson/
