Personal Life

A Funny Conversation Between My Divorce Attorney & I

Malia and Michael MJ The Terrible Johnson Austin Texas On The Balcony at Night Picture

Note: AG are the initials of my divorce attorney.

MJ: Alright

AG. Whatcha got?

AG: MJ, would you say I’m a good lawyer?

MJ: The best!

AG: This place is unbelievable. You technically earn $60,000 a year. I know the real answer, but please Michael, explain how $60,000 a year buys this? God, you are so full of shit. You should be named “MJ The Technicality”, not “MJ The Terrible”.

MJ: Coupons.

AG: Coupons? You can’t buy a $2,000,000 apartment with coupons! You can’t do any better than coupons? Come on “MJ The Terrible”!

MJ: Coupons and long-term compounded interest?

AG: You are 36 years old! You aren’t even old enough to have long-term compounded interest. Do better!

MJ: You are scary. I’m glad she had to answer your questions and not me. Okay, coupons, long-term compounded interest and I was early to bed, early to rise, and it made me healthy, wealthy and wise?

AG: I wouldn’t want to go up against you in court either. You think up the craziest shit imaginable. I think you watched to many cartoons as a kid and started believing it was real or something.

MJ: (Chuckle)

AG: Were you afraid your plan would fail?

MJ: Yes, thats why I worked so hard to make sure it didn’t.

AG: Why did you trust me with a POA over your life? I was basically the paper version of Chris. I could have taken all of this you know?

MJ: You are an honest person. It is very easy to tell.

AG: I am glad the good guy won in this real life movie.

MJ: Me too. Ha! Ha!

AG: I’m sorry I’m laughing so much. I can’t stop thinking back to law school. A law professor told us it is almost impossible to do something in a court room that has never been done, and we did 3 in one day. My first question.

When the “Seal Team 69” construction crew miss read your signal and stopped working and being loud while MJ2 was being questioned, how did you get them to start up again so fast?

MJ: The person who walked up to Chris and then faced you signaled behind his back.

AG: You know that would be illegal if you hadn’t done the deferral right?

MJ: I only know that rule because of you. Thank you.

AG: I only have one other question. I want to go back to the game room.

MJ: Okay.

AG: Now that I know your real weakness, pretend you were facing me that day in court. Do you think you could still win?

MJ: No. Maybe. I don’t know. I would have to think about it, but I doubt it. The only way I can think I could win in that scenario is if “The Company” just forced it. They can do just about anything.

AG: Why didn’t you go for full you know what? I know it took a lot not to just run you know who over and you could have. Why didn’t you? I know the answer, but say it anyway.

MJ: Because I thought she would kill herself if I got it, and I couldn’t live with myself if that happened.

AG: She would have done it to you. She did almost basically. You really are a good guy Mike. I promise I’m ready for round 2. I know you are. How close is she with it?

MJ: About a third of the way there.

AG: Why did you do this in 2 parts MJ?

MJ: Because I got the answers I needed the first round related to the J’s. This time I want the answers to the G’s.

AG: If you pull this off you still aren’t allowed to post the picture of me with my arm around her.

MJ: Please? AG: I can’t believe you are even willing to try this. I’m staying at maybe for now.

MJ: Fair enough.

AG: Tonight was fun. Thank you.

MJ: Thank you. I owe you big. I hope when the book and movie come out you get endless business from it. People will know who you are then. No more nicknames.

AG: It will work out fine. I have you in my corner. I’m beginning to think you can do just about anything kiddo.

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About Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson, founder of Masters of Money LLC, is a world-famous computer hacker, marketer, entrepreneur, and adventurer. You can say what you want about me but I'm the guy that does the jobs that have to get done. "Don't settle for less than everything you want. Know when to shut up and collect the money. It's better to get paid than be right. Money doesn't buy happiness, but it can afford you the time to find happiness. Without a challenge, you can't rise to anything. Pick your battles. Push your limits. Ask for more. Demand better. Eliminate should from your life by doing. Live a life without regrets, by trying everything that interests you in the least, and don't waste time, because time is the most valuable commodity in life." Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson - Founder & Owner - Masters of Money, LLC.
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