Malia,
I miss you so much it hurts. I can barely function. I promise I will do my best, but you were/are my world. You can’t be replaced. You were my everything. You took care of everything and made it look easy. I can barely microwave macaroni.
If roles were reversed, and you were here, and I wasn’t, I am almost certain that you would be torn up and all, but you would already have organized everybody and everything, had an action plan in place, funeral arrangements done, and probably still had time to start looking for another husband. I’m just kidding on the last part.
When I almost died in 2015, I wanted to stay alive to be with you. Now that you are in heaven, someday when I die, if they let me in, I look forward to being able to hold you again.
I know Liz, CJ and Cash need me. I promise you baby, I will try to raise them right.
I am so grateful I at least got to know you from March 8th, 2012, until January 14th, 2018. It was the best time period of my life, even though I almost died, was in the hospital for 17 months, etc., and it’s because of you.
Baby, I don’t know if you were watching last night, but Chris made me laugh for the first time since you passed away. He said- “I think the hardest thing you’re going to have to learn how to do is breast feed.”
He joked about going out and picking up chicks with me, and that made me cry, because you are the only chick I ever want to have. I have heard other men talk about cheating on their wives, and I’ve even seen them do it, but I can honestly say that I never cheated on you, or wanted to. It really sucks that we found each other and only got to spend such a brief amount of time together.
I am so sorry I didn’t stop watching football and go to the store like you asked me to. I have no idea how I’m going to do this, but I know there are a lot of people who care about us, who will help us get through.
Will you do me a favor baby? Please start working on the powers that be up there, so they will let me in, because if they don’t, they have no idea how powerful my love for you is, and I will find a way to get in there to be with you.
Please watch over us baby. I’m scared. I don’t generally get scared, but I am afraid I won’t be everything that the kids need. They need a mom. They need you.
Baby, I did move some of your stuff, because I was hoping you would come threaten me like you always do if I move your stuff.
I know you didn’t come to threaten me yesterday, but I’m 100% certain you will scold me about it when we see each other again in heaven someday.
Please watch over me, and help me not to have a mental breakdown in front of my son this weekend.
I love you with all of my broken heart baby!
Good bye for now baby cakes.
Love,
MJ (Your lost and lonely husband without you!)
The First Conversation Malia and I Ever Had by Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/the-first-conversation-malia-and-i-ever-had-by-michael-mj-the-terrible-johnson/
