MJ: Baby, remember when we were talking about organizing my son and I’s apartment, and you offered to help organize it because “I’m a guy and I have no idea how to organize an apartment, and if you wouldn’t have helped me organize my old house, that place would have been a disgusting pigsty, not fit to raise my son…
MJ: An “MJ The Terrible” electric car? Baby, I know this was your idea. The other day Malia said- “I have a riddle for you. Let’s see if you can hack it “MJ The Malia’s Husband”. What is white, was picked by a black woman, supports green, and has your name all over it?” Baby, I was able to hack…
Malia: How is packing going? MJ: Amarzing! Malia: Amarzing huh? What is the average blood alcohol content down there? MJ: 3.14 Malia: PI? 3.14? MJ: Matti said I had to get each one of the multiple personalities Gotye said I have drunk? Malia: Is that a question? MJ: That is the answer my lovee! Malia: What is? MJ: Exactly! Malia:…
MJ: Some people may have been mean to us in the past, but I’m done thinking about it. I’m ready to forgive and forget. Malia: We are a team right? MJ: Right. Malia: Good, then you do the forgiving and the forgetting for now, and I’ll do the recovering and the remembering, and I will remind you when to remember…
MJ: This was not my idea my love. You know your body is the only one the real “MJ The Terrible” wants to be in bed with. Malia: It is ok baby. I am ok with the sexy girl promo video, just like I’m sure you will be ok with the sexy guy promo I am doing next week. MJ:…
MJ: Baby, did you mess with my phone? All of my texts with Gotye are gone, and she is no longer in my contacts. I tried to enter her # so I can check on you know who, but my phone is not letting me do it. Dubs: I did it. You will be able to resume communication with Gotye…
Malia: Baby, if I change my mind, a million times. I wanna hear you say- Yeah! Yeah, I like it that way! Any man of mine – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N2k-gv6xNE MJ: Wow! Baby, I didn’t know you listened to country. Malia: I’m from the country. MJ: Country western Malia: Well, I am from the country….. of South Africa. lol MJ: You are…
Before The Event Mr. Fanning: How nervous is our boy Mali J? Will you be accompanying MJ to dinner this evening? Did he shave? Please make sure he looks sharp. I stuck my neck out on this and I’m now a former, which means we need him at his best. Malia: Hey Mr. F. MJ has been in the shower…
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, My name is Shawn Higgins, and I represent Vivid International Studios. My clients are interested in producing an adult film based on an encounter yourself and Mrs. Johnson wrote about on the internet. The “Mother Fucker” post has approximately 4,000 likes, has been clicked on 51,000,000 times, and is in Facebook’s top 25,000 most clicked…
I was feeling unattractive last night because MJ turned me down for sex, and that never happens. Now I know why. He found out a close friend of his died right before he came to bed. Captain Raymond Lutz, a close friend of MJ’s passed away from a heart attack. He was only 47 years young. I didn’t know your…