My Favorite Quotes From People That I Know Compilation 1 of 5 by Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson: “C’est la vie. When in Rome. Carpe Diem. Life is short. You only live once. They all mean the same thing. Live your life because you only get one life to live.” Selena Gomez “People love people who stand up after they…
MJ: I’m like milk. Malia: ? MJ: Because I’ll do your body good! Wanna fool around? Malia: Do you mean you are like Soy Milk because you will do my body good? MJ: No! Full milk all the way! Malia: I am lactose intolerant baby. Milk does my body bad. MJ: Shit! I did know that, but the pickup line…
Malia: Baby, did you see the email from Brittany? MJ: Which one? Malia: The one about President Biden and the first lady coming to eat at our house? MJ: No. When is that happening? Malia: Kamala text me. She told the President about it and he asked if he and Mrs. Biden could come to. MJ: I don’t care. is…
Malia: Baby, I’m answering anything goes with Malia q&a questions. They wanted me to ask you if Remote Neural Monitoring is real, and if you know anything about it. MJ: I can’t talk about that, and even if I could, I wouldn’t. Malia: That’s a yes and a yes. I’ve learned your secret cyber spy speak baby. MJ: I love…
Dedicated to my loving husband (with some side notes for explanation and perspective purposes). MJ, I was born in South Africa, and I lived in South Africa until I graduated secondary school (high school) and came to America to go to college. Most of my family still lives in South Africa. I had a very happy childhood. I am proud…
Malia: Michael David Johnson! I am trying to poop in peace! I don’t need you to sing to me while I am pooping! MJ: I am just trying to help. Malia: How does you singing “Ah! Push it! Push it real good!”, help me to poop any better than when I poop in silence? MJ: It’s poop encouragement, and we…
MJ: You should have to register your butt as a deadly weapon. Malia: Ok. I will indulge you baby. Why should I have to register my butt as a deadly weapon? MJ: Because it is dangerous! Malia: How so? MJ: When your little niece came running around the corner, you spun your butt around, she ran into it, and the…
MJ: I just talked to my mom. Thank you for helping her lenes. Malia: I don’t understand. The “lenes”? MJ: Yeah, every lady in her church group’s name ends in lene. Carlene, Jolene, Ilene, Sharlene, Paulene. There are probably more lenes than that. Malia: OMG! All of their names do end in lene besides your mom and one other lady.…
MJ: Have you looked through Mediaset’s offer to buy us yet? Malia: Yes. The offer is missing some important points. MJ: Which points are you thinking? No protections for current employees? Malia: That, a long with a mandatory family vacation for you, and security to block all the Italian road whore sluts from trying to hook up with you while…
MJ: Why does everybody look at me like I’m a beast, and they look at you as a beauty? You are a beauty, but I don’t want to be a beast. Malia: Well if the beast mask fits. MJ: Baby! Malia: I am just teasing. Why do you think everybody looks at us like beauty and the beast? MJ: Look…