Malia: There was a man that snuck into my shower and took an “Up” picture in between my legs of my goodies! MJ: Oh no! We should start an investigation immediately. Malia: I have a place to start. He left behind a clue. MJ: What kind of clue? Malia: On one of the pictures he took there is a picture…
MJ: I married Lisa Marie Malia: WTF? Who is Lisa Marie??? MJ: I hit send accidentally before I was done typing. MJ: I was going text….. I married Lisa Marie Presley’s twin, Malia May Presley. You look like Elvis Presley’s daughter. I was only being playful. I love you and you are always on my mind baby cakes. Malia: Gotcha.…
Malia: I love you! MJ: I love you too. Did I do something good to deserve an I love you? Malia: I love you and I can tell you that I love you anytime I want to, can’t I? MJ: Of course my love. I’m stressed out. Malia: Stress isn’t good baby. We need to find a stress solution. MJ:…
Malia: Do you think the saying “Black Lives Matter” is racist? MJ: No. The saying is meant to call attention to an important issue. The saying isn’t “Only Black Lives Matter”. Malia: I agree. They are debating it right now on the show I’m watching. I love you my enlightened, sexy, woke, big heart, big brain, big dick husband! MJ:…
Anything Goes Q&A with Malia 10: 1. What did MJ get you for your push present? Trisha Sellers St. Paul, MN Malia: MJ went all out. He got a push present for me from each of our kids and he bought me a separate push gift also. His push gift for me was the jacuzzi bathtub I wanted. And he…
World, meet Christopher Alexander Johnson. Christopher Alexander Johnson, meet the world. Christopher, you were born at 3:13 am. Your daddy was born at 3:13 pm. You weighed exactly 10 pounds even when you were born. As your grandma, Jeanne Johnson, said about you- “He weighs as much as a sack of potatoes.” Your nicknames while you were in your mommy’s…
MJ: Malia May Johnson…..Are you ready to get your fuck on? Malia: Fuck yes I am!!! I’m ovulating!!! MJ: You are pregnant. Pregnant women don’t ovulate, do they? Malia: No. I’m just practicing. MJ: Uh oh Malia: I’m addict baby. I can’t help it. MJ: I’m married to an addict. Malia: But not a bad kind. MJ: I promise I…
MJ: Let’s play do what the action figures do. Malia: I’m pregnant, but okay to the extent I can. MJ: Let’s do this…… Malia: OMG! What is the blue bubble? Malia: You made Black Widow pregnant like me? MJ: Yes I did! Malia: I like that we are going to use the Woodland house for storage. I think that is…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I’m at the Woodland house. I’m sorry baby. I am to pregnant and fat and hormonal and horny to think. Come over to this house, bend me over something, and bang me out of my…
MJ: I know you want it. I know you need it. Malia: But I’m a good girl! MJ: I’m about to come over there and invade our bedroom like it was Osama Bin Laden’s compound, and I’m Seal Team 6. Malia: I have to tell you something and you can’t get mad. MJ: Uh oh Malia: Don’t let this ruin…