Its over now, and Malia and I safe, but today got completely out of hand for sure. A day in the life……. MJ: FYI- There are some college frat boy types that could be trouble. We are ready to go upstairs, because our food will be here any minute now. I doubt they would punch Malia’s belly or something like…
MJ: Baby, remember when we were talking about organizing my son and I’s apartment, and you offered to help organize it because “I’m a guy and I have no idea how to organize an apartment, and if you wouldn’t have helped me organize my old house, that place would have been a disgusting pigsty, not fit to raise my son…
Malia: Where is thine knight this sunrise? MJ: Dust though queen wish for thine knight to return to kiss his queens beautiful lips? Malia: No she does not. The queen wishes to be jousted this morning. MJ: Again my queen? I thought thine queen received quite the thrashing last evening. Malia: Thine queen wanted love making last evening but got…
MJ: My only complaint is what AG said about the apartment. “The CJ apartment can be nice, but I would stop short of luxurious.” On the tour today, I missed the “can be nice” part. Maybe they just went straight to the luxurious part? Anyway, I do like the place, but I think this is the definition of luxurious, even…
Malia: Mr Johnson. Your services are required in the bedroom. MJ: No. I’ve got nothing left. Malia: Let’s check and see. The only way we will know is if we check. MJ: I think I’m down to like bone marrow at this point. You need help woman. I’m calling a sex therapist. Malia: You are so right. I do need…
MJ: An “MJ The Terrible” electric car? Baby, I know this was your idea. The other day Malia said- “I have a riddle for you. Let’s see if you can hack it “MJ The Malia’s Husband”. What is white, was picked by a black woman, supports green, and has your name all over it?” Baby, I was able to hack…
Malia: How is packing going? MJ: Amarzing! Malia: Amarzing huh? What is the average blood alcohol content down there? MJ: 3.14 Malia: PI? 3.14? MJ: Matti said I had to get each one of the multiple personalities Gotye said I have drunk? Malia: Is that a question? MJ: That is the answer my lovee! Malia: What is? MJ: Exactly! Malia:…
MJ: Some people may have been mean to us in the past, but I’m done thinking about it. I’m ready to forgive and forget. Malia: We are a team right? MJ: Right. Malia: Good, then you do the forgiving and the forgetting for now, and I’ll do the recovering and the remembering, and I will remind you when to remember…
MJ: This was not my idea my love. You know your body is the only one the real “MJ The Terrible” wants to be in bed with. Malia: It is ok baby. I am ok with the sexy girl promo video, just like I’m sure you will be ok with the sexy guy promo I am doing next week. MJ:…
MJ: Baby, I don’t love you anymore….. Malia: Baby, I saw your draft of this message on your laptop, and my first thought was, if he is going to mess with me and expect to freak me out, he shouldn’t have started the message with “Baby”, but……. MJ: And if you believe that I have some ocean front property in…