Before The Event Mr. Fanning: How nervous is our boy Mali J? Will you be accompanying MJ to dinner this evening? Did he shave? Please make sure he looks sharp. I stuck my neck out on this and I’m now a former, which means we need him at his best. Malia: Hey Mr. F. MJ has been in the shower…
Malia: MJ, even Superman has to rest. You slept at least 16 hours. You needed it! Malia: I did good things. Now I’m ready to do bad things to you. Men expect their wives to perform “wifely duties”, meaning sex, just because the man wants it. This is 2017. Women should be able to do the same thing. I am…
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, My name is Shawn Higgins, and I represent Vivid International Studios. My clients are interested in producing an adult film based on an encounter yourself and Mrs. Johnson wrote about on the internet. The “Mother Fucker” post has approximately 4,000 likes, has been clicked on 51,000,000 times, and is in Facebook’s top 25,000 most clicked…
As many of you know, I was married once before, and so I wanted to do everything I possibly could to make Malia and I’s wedding uniquely special to us. What I found out throughout the day yesterday, was I didn’t have to try to make Malia and I’s wedding uniquely special to us, because when you are marrying the…
It’s official! On the 5 year anniversary of the day we met, Malia and I became husband and wife. To the staff at Camp Mabry, you guys were incredible! Thank you to the folks at Robb Report and Luxe for putting together/coordinating, such an amazing wedding day. We heard some of our guests helicopter transports back and forth between the…
Tarica Patel(BABB): Now you messed up MJ! Malia is crying! MJ: For real? Tarica Patel(BABB): Yes MJ: About the dating post? Tarica Patel(BABB): Yes MJ: I wrote a real one. Chris thought it would be funny to write an anti dating post. Besides, I didn’t want to write a dating post for her. I would rather die then let another…
All of us girls are at the apartment downtown. MJ and the boys are at MJ’s house in South Austin. This is BABB btw. Those boys won’t leave us alone. There was a knock at the door. It was a male stripper wearing a costume. When the stripper pulled off his mask, IT WAS KEVIN! For some reason we asked…
Hey everyone. My name is Meredith Brooks. I am MJ’s new assistant. I moved from Des Moines, Iowa to Austin about 4 weeks ago, and I am 26 years old. Go Hawkeyes! My week one recap and my feelings about the job and everything so far- I got to meet Matthew McConaughey. MJ and him insult the daylights out of…
We just left the emergency room follow up appointment with Malia and the baby’s doctor. It turns out we are not having twin girls. The ultra sound showed two babies in their, but one is a girl and one is a boy! We decided to name the girl Elizabeth Grace Johnson, and the boy Cash Michael Johnson Elizabeth and Grace…
I am such a happy fiancée and daddy right now! Malia and the twins are healthy! We just got home from the hospital and Malia fell asleep. Malia, you are tough as nails. The Doctor was trying to be comforting to Malia, in the event that there were complications with the twins, but my baby I am proud to say,…