Malia: Mr Johnson. Your services are required in the bedroom. MJ: No. I’ve got nothing left. Malia: Let’s check and see. The only way we will know is if we check. MJ: I think I’m down to like bone marrow at this point. You need help woman. I’m calling a sex therapist. Malia: You are so right. I do need…
MJ: An “MJ The Terrible” electric car? Baby, I know this was your idea. The other day Malia said- “I have a riddle for you. Let’s see if you can hack it “MJ The Malia’s Husband”. What is white, was picked by a black woman, supports green, and has your name all over it?” Baby, I was able to hack…
Malia: How is packing going? MJ: Amarzing! Malia: Amarzing huh? What is the average blood alcohol content down there? MJ: 3.14 Malia: PI? 3.14? MJ: Matti said I had to get each one of the multiple personalities Gotye said I have drunk? Malia: Is that a question? MJ: That is the answer my lovee! Malia: What is? MJ: Exactly! Malia:…
MJ: Some people may have been mean to us in the past, but I’m done thinking about it. I’m ready to forgive and forget. Malia: We are a team right? MJ: Right. Malia: Good, then you do the forgiving and the forgetting for now, and I’ll do the recovering and the remembering, and I will remind you when to remember…
MJ: This was not my idea my love. You know your body is the only one the real “MJ The Terrible” wants to be in bed with. Malia: It is ok baby. I am ok with the sexy girl promo video, just like I’m sure you will be ok with the sexy guy promo I am doing next week. MJ:…
MJ: Baby, I don’t love you anymore….. Malia: Baby, I saw your draft of this message on your laptop, and my first thought was, if he is going to mess with me and expect to freak me out, he shouldn’t have started the message with “Baby”, but……. MJ: And if you believe that I have some ocean front property in…
Malia: Baby, if I change my mind, a million times. I wanna hear you say- Yeah! Yeah, I like it that way! Any man of mine – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N2k-gv6xNE MJ: Wow! Baby, I didn’t know you listened to country. Malia: I’m from the country. MJ: Country western Malia: Well, I am from the country….. of South Africa. lol MJ: You are…
MJ: Baby I am drunk but I wan yoy to knlw I carry these thibgs around with me all the timer because I didn’t know the worst tine of my life wpuld turn out tp ne the best. Itd because of you Malia. I love yoy. Im sorry I smell lick alcohol and dont wsnt to kiss me tonight. I…
Before The Event Mr. Fanning: How nervous is our boy Mali J? Will you be accompanying MJ to dinner this evening? Did he shave? Please make sure he looks sharp. I stuck my neck out on this and I’m now a former, which means we need him at his best. Malia: Hey Mr. F. MJ has been in the shower…
Malia: MJ, even Superman has to rest. You slept at least 16 hours. You needed it! Malia: I did good things. Now I’m ready to do bad things to you. Men expect their wives to perform “wifely duties”, meaning sex, just because the man wants it. This is 2017. Women should be able to do the same thing. I am…