MJ: I married Lisa Marie Malia: WTF? Who is Lisa Marie??? MJ: I hit send accidentally before I was done typing. MJ: I was going text….. I married Lisa Marie Presley’s twin, Malia May Presley. You look like Elvis Presley’s daughter. I was only being playful. I love you and you are always on my mind baby cakes. Malia: Gotcha.…
Tag: Malia and Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson
“Things”
Malia: I love you! MJ: I love you too. Did I do something good to deserve an I love you? Malia: I love you and I can tell you that I love you anytime I want to, can’t I? MJ: Of course my love. I’m stressed out. Malia: Stress isn’t good baby. We need to find a stress solution. MJ:…
“Stuff”
Malia: Do you think the saying “Black Lives Matter” is racist? MJ: No. The saying is meant to call attention to an important issue. The saying isn’t “Only Black Lives Matter”. Malia: I agree. They are debating it right now on the show I’m watching. I love you my enlightened, sexy, woke, big heart, big brain, big dick husband! MJ:…
Anything Goes Q&A with Malia 10
Anything Goes Q&A with Malia 10: 1. What did MJ get you for your push present? Trisha Sellers St. Paul, MN Malia: MJ went all out. He got a push present for me from each of our kids and he bought me a separate push gift also. His push gift for me was the jacuzzi bathtub I wanted. And he…
To My Precious New Baby Boy Christopher Alexander Johnson
To my precious new baby boy Christopher Alexander Johnson, Finding the words to express how I feel about you is not easy to do when I am sleep-deprived from our late night feedings together, and I’m sore from giving birth, and I’m in awe from the overwhelming emotion of getting to know and be with you these past few days,…
Welcome To The World Christopher Alexander Johnson!
World, meet Christopher Alexander Johnson. Christopher Alexander Johnson, meet the world. Christopher, you were born at 3:13 am. Your daddy was born at 3:13 pm. You weighed exactly 10 pounds even when you were born. As your grandma, Jeanne Johnson, said about you- “He weighs as much as a sack of potatoes.” Your nicknames while you were in your mommy’s…
Malia and MJ Drivers License Picture Comparison
MJ: You look like a nice, pristine, girl. I look like a scary criminal. Malia: Beauty and my Beast. MJ: They didn’t tell me to smile while they were taking my picture. I have brand new teeth. I would have smiled. Malia: I text Kristi our side by side driver’s license pictures. She wrote back – “Cyber Hacker “MJ The…
Bounce House of Love
MJ: Malia May Johnson…..Are you ready to get your fuck on? Malia: Fuck yes I am!!! I’m ovulating!!! MJ: You are pregnant. Pregnant women don’t ovulate, do they? Malia: No. I’m just practicing. MJ: Uh oh Malia: I’m addict baby. I can’t help it. MJ: I’m married to an addict. Malia: But not a bad kind. MJ: I promise I…
Math and Parenting Decisions
Malia: Baby, I want to see if you know the answer to this math problem. 50 + 50 – 25 × 0 + 2 + 2 = ? Is the correct answer 4 or 104? MJ: 104 Malia: Of course you know the answer. Why isn’t the answer 4? Don’t you do math problems from left to right? MJ: No.…
Let’s Play Do What The Action Figures Do
MJ: Let’s play do what the action figures do. Malia: I’m pregnant, but okay to the extent I can. MJ: Let’s do this…… Malia: OMG! What is the blue bubble? Malia: You made Black Widow pregnant like me? MJ: Yes I did! Malia: I like that we are going to use the Woodland house for storage. I think that is…