Malia: Hey baby! How are you feeling? MJ: My headache went away. I felt better after I got up and got going. I do have this swelling going on in one part of my body though. See attached pic. Malia: I bought a little outfit to wear today that might help with your swelling problem. MJ: This is a major…
Tag: Making love
I’m Going To Bang The _________ Out of You! No You’re Not!
This was Malia and I’s fun shower together this morning. Malia: Hey baby! Come on in. MJ: Hello my love. Note- I kissed Malia. Then I sat down in the back of the shower and just watched her take a shower while we talked. Malia: Are you just going to watch me get a shower? MJ: Yeah. Is that ok?…
The First Time MJ and I “Did It” by Malia Johnson
MJ and I met on March 8th, 2012. MJ was going through a lot at the time. He was dealing with the fallout from being the alleged architect of Stuxnet, the world’s first cyber weapon that almost caused World War III. MJ was still married to his first wife. I refer to her as his practice wife, because MJ was…
Dear Malia’s P@$$y Letter
Malia: Baby, remember this? It is always interesting to see what your brilliant, loving, and slightly perverted, but in a good way, mind will come up with. I know you hand wrote the Dear P@$$y letter back in the day, but your handwriting looks like ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics, no offense, so I typed it out to be able to post…
First You Argue Then You Make Up
Malia: Mr. “MJ The Terrible”, why do you want to fight with your wife when we could be doing something a whole lot more fun together? We have a babysitter tonight! MJ: You started it! Malia: You started it! MJ: You started it!! Malia: You started it!!!!! MJ: You were relentless with your feistiness today. Malia: And clearly I need…
We’re All Good Here Haters
Malia: Remember all of the people who told us our marriage wouldn’t last 6 months? MJ: I do, but I didn’t pay them much attention. Malia: Me either, but I got an email from one of our biggest marriage doubters/haters today. MJ: ……. Malia: I didn’t respond to their email. I really just wanted an excuse to post my favorite…
My Perfect Combination of Feisty Sexy and Cute
Malia was being super feisty playful this morning. She knew what she was doing! She looked at me with those big beautiful brown eyes, and batted her eyelashes all Betty Boop style, and I chased her into the bedroom. I got to the bedroom about 5 seconds after she did, and this is what I saw. (See picture attached to…
WTF Is Postnatal Coitus?
Malia: I love your Cheetos post. Great memories! This is my favorite Cheetos picture of us. Thinking about our Cheetos moments makes me want to have more Cheetos moments. MJ: Agreed Malia: Are you in the mood for some postnatal coitus? MJ: Huh? Malia: Sex baby! Sex! Postnatal coitus is a fancy medical term for having sex after giving birth.…
Baby Your Business Smells Like Cheetos
One of the first times Malia and I fooled around, I stopped what I was doing, looked up at her, and said- “Baby, your business smells like Cheetos”. She immediately said- “What? Get off me!”, and her legs closed up faster than fast. Then she stood up and backed away from the couch maybe 5 feet or so. She got…
Babies Babies and More Babies For The Johnson Family
Malia: Guess what I have my eye on in this picture baby? MJ: I don’t know, what? Malia: I have my eye on you! MJ: Aww! I love you baby. Malia: I have my eye on you for a reason. MJ: Oh yeah? What’s that? Malia: Well, your mission, should you choose to accept it, and you will, is to…