MJ: The Nookie Monster is hungry! Malia: Oh yeah? What do you want to eat Nookie Monster? MJ: I am going to eat you for lunch. Malia: Are you going to “doink me” like your Dad calls sex? Malia: What are you interested in my horny hubby? I think it’s so funny he calls sex “doinking”. MJ: I am interested…
Tag: Making love
MJ Test Results Bidets and Sex In The Attic
Malia: I just talked to Dr. Frincke. She told me your test results on all of the testing you did. She said your test results surprised her. MJ: Bad? I haven’t been following the diet should told me to follow. Malia: Yeah, she noticed that. Your cholesterol was high. She asked me to help with your diet because she said…
Vaginasphere and Supersizing Sex
Vaginasphere and Supersizing Sex MJ: Are you busy babe? Malia: I just got off a video chat with my girls. MJ: How is the vaginasphere? Malia: A lot of drama. Apparently it’s hard to find a good man these days. MJ: I try. Malia: You are awesome baby! I don’t want to let another woman close enough to you to…
The Naughty Alphabet Motivated by my Sexy Bride Malia
The Naughty Alphabet Motivated by my Sexy Bride Malia A is for Ass B is for Butt C is for Cumming D is for Dirty E is for Ecstasy F is for Fucking G is for Groaning H is for Horny I is for Intimate J is for Juggs K is for Kissing L is for Licking M is for…
You May Now Make Love To The Bride!
You May Now Make Love To The Bride! MJ: Please don’t. MJ: Please don’t. MJ: Please don’t. MJ: Please don’t. Malia: Please don’t what? MJ: I can hear you singing the song by Adele “Never mind I’ll Find Someone Like You”. Malia: Aww! Are you feeling needy? MJ: More like wanty. Malia: This is what I can offer you. Sex…
Your Sexy Blue Eyes Are What Have Me All Worked Up
MJ: Wow! You sent me an awesome naughty video! Malia: Yes I did! MJ: That was hot baby! What has got you all worked up? Malia: What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind. Your sexy blue eyes are what have me all worked up. MJ: You know how death row inmates get to have whatever…
Malia’s Deadly Butt Weapon
MJ: You should have to register your butt as a deadly weapon. Malia: Ok. I will indulge you baby. Why should I have to register my butt as a deadly weapon? MJ: Because it is dangerous! Malia: How so? MJ: When your little niece came running around the corner, you spun your butt around, she ran into it, and the…
My Top 20 Favorite Sexy Foreplay Posts on Therealmjtheterrible.com By Malia May Johnson
I was going to do a top 10 favorite foreplay posts, but then it turned into a top 15, which turned into a top 20, which would have turned into a top 25, or 30, or 35, etc., probably, if I had more time. I love my husband MJ, and I love making love to him. I get asked a…
Do you think any handy men that have come to fix our stuff have fantasized about having sex with me?
MJ: What do you like better, your new Cady or your Hermes bags? Malia: I like you the best daddy! MJ: 🙂 Malia: Do you think any handy men that have come to fix our stuff have fantasized about having sex with me? MJ: Yes Malia: Baby! MJ: What? Malia: You’re not upset about that? MJ: What do you want…
I Love The Way You Love Me Malia #luckiestmanonearth
I Love The Way You Love Me Malia #luckiestmanonearth MJ: Baby, I am a Penis American. Malia: Baby, I am a Vagina American. A Booby American? What’s up Penis American? MJ: My penis. Malia: You are a Penis American and your penis is up? Thank you for letting me know. I can tell you got my letter in your office. …