Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I wasn’t thinking that at all. I was thinking about banging your vagina unmercilessly.” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “I have an adult version nursery rhyme for you. Hickory dickory dock. I’m about to slam…
I found this email MJ sent me in December 2016. I thought it was funny, sexy, and cute, so I decided to share it. Future Mommy Malia, Since we are in get pregnant mode, I decided to put together a plan. I’m calling the plan- “Operation Guaranteed Pregnancy”, to ensure that we get pregnant. Here is the plan. My penis…
Malia: Baby! MJ: I’m here. What’s up? Malia: I’m going through withdraw MJ: Pregnancy withdraw? As in, not being pregnant and missing it withdraw? Malia: That to MJ: What’s the first thing if there is a “That to”? Malia: The thing makes me pregnant. MJ: Sex? Malia: Yes! MJ: Well I know the fix for that withdraw! Malia: You have…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I feel all hot. Why aren’t you bothering me with your penis?” Malia May Johnson “I’m sorry if I haven’t been giving you enough sex recently. Why don’t you and me get dirty while we…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “We don’t have much time, but will you make love to me for 5 minutes?” Malia May Johnson “Making eye contact when I am sucking you off is salacious as hell and I love it.”…
MJ: Baby people are dropping like flies. 4 people that we know have died this month. I’m sad about it. Malia: I know. I heard about Andy today. I’m sorry. MJ: November is the dyingest month. Malia: I would love on you and comfort you but I’m quarantined. MJ: I know babe. I love you. If there is anything I…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “Today I’m horny. Tomorrow I will be horny. Next week I will be horny. Next year I will be horny. Etc. So on. So forth.” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “You are my sex.” Michael…
MJ: I want you to know something. Malia: What do you want me to know? MJ: I would drive to the moon with you. Would you drive to the moon with me? Malia: Yes I would! I Googled how long it would take to drive to the moon if it was actually possible to drive to the moon. At 55…
MJ: I can hear you singing. Are you dancing and singing? Can I come watch your concert? Malia: You can hear me singing from inside MJIA? MJ: I was sitting outside on the steps. You were singing the oral sex song. Malia: What oral sex song? MJ: “Poke Her Face” by Lady Gaga I think. Malia: You and song lyrics…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I swear 1 minute warning. I bought it special for you. I have already lost some baby weight, and I am going to do you sooo good!” Malia May Johnson “Oh my God I’m gonna…