Malia: We have a stupid amount of sex. How am I not pregnant yet? MJ: We have 7 kids! We know how to get pregnant. You don’t wiggle your nose like the “I Dream of Jeannie” girl and we’re pregnant. Malia: Do you think we should see a fertility specialist because I’m old now and my womb might be broken?…
MJ: I know we are trying to get pregnant again. Are we going to do the Lemans classes when we do again? Malia: I don’t know. Sounds like fun don’t you think? MJ: At this point I can swaddle a baby one handed. Malia: Do you think it would last 24 hours? MJ: Why would it last 24 hours? The…
Malia: Howdy MJ! MJ: Howdy Malia: You was born way up there in Ohio weren’t you yankee boy? MJ: I was. What are you up to sexy girl? This is Malia right, or is this Malia and her neighbor friend Katie? Malia: Katie done went home. It’s just me, your southern belle wife Malia May. MJ: What are you up…
MJ: It’s a full moon out tonight. Malia: We better stay inside in case the crazies are out tonight. MJ: Big Butt Malia Hood. You sure are looking good. You’re everything that a big bad MJ The Terrible would want. Malia: Little ole me? MJ: What a big butt you have. The better to hold on to, when I’m having…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “You have pretty words baby. And pretty lips for kissing. And pretty other things worth kissing if you follow what I’m saying?” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “You look so elegant in that dress. I…
MJ: I hear what you are saying but I think I need to feel what you are saying to really understand it. Malia: You need to feel a grocery list? MJ: Groceries are life. Groceries are sustenance. Malia: You are really taking groceries seriously. MJ: It’s life or death. Malia: White or wheat toast bread is life or death?…
Malia: Caulk MJ: Caulk? Malia: The construction guys putting the wall up today said “caulk” like 50 times today. They “caulked” everything. Caulk. Caulk. Caulk. MJ: Did caulk talk make you think about cock, because you’re baby crazy right now? Malia: Yes! MJ: Cock? Malia: Yes! And I have some good news but not good news officially yet. MJ: Lay…
Malia: How about McDonald’s for lunch? MJ: Ok Malia: This is going to be the best McDonald’s you’ve ever had! MJ: Oh yeah? Did they bring back the McRib? I used to eat 2 of those at a time back when I worked at the Chicken House, and I would go on deliveries. Malia: This will be better than the…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I wasn’t thinking that at all. I was thinking about banging your vagina unmercilessly.” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “I have an adult version nursery rhyme for you. Hickory dickory dock. I’m about to slam…
I found this email MJ sent me in December 2016. I thought it was funny, sexy, and cute, so I decided to share it. Future Mommy Malia, Since we are in get pregnant mode, I decided to put together a plan. I’m calling the plan- “Operation Guaranteed Pregnancy”, to ensure that we get pregnant. Here is the plan. My penis…