Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “You have pretty words baby. And pretty lips for kissing. And pretty other things worth kissing if you follow what I’m saying?” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “You look so elegant in that dress. I…
MJ: I hear what you are saying but I think I need to feel what you are saying to really understand it. Malia: You need to feel a grocery list? MJ: Groceries are life. Groceries are sustenance. Malia: You are really taking groceries seriously. MJ: It’s life or death. Malia: White or wheat toast bread is life or death?…
Malia: Caulk MJ: Caulk? Malia: The construction guys putting the wall up today said “caulk” like 50 times today. They “caulked” everything. Caulk. Caulk. Caulk. MJ: Did caulk talk make you think about cock, because you’re baby crazy right now? Malia: Yes! MJ: Cock? Malia: Yes! And I have some good news but not good news officially yet. MJ: Lay…
Malia: How about McDonald’s for lunch? MJ: Ok Malia: This is going to be the best McDonald’s you’ve ever had! MJ: Oh yeah? Did they bring back the McRib? I used to eat 2 of those at a time back when I worked at the Chicken House, and I would go on deliveries. Malia: This will be better than the…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I wasn’t thinking that at all. I was thinking about banging your vagina unmercilessly.” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “I have an adult version nursery rhyme for you. Hickory dickory dock. I’m about to slam…
I found this email MJ sent me in December 2016. I thought it was funny, sexy, and cute, so I decided to share it. Future Mommy Malia, Since we are in get pregnant mode, I decided to put together a plan. I’m calling the plan- “Operation Guaranteed Pregnancy”, to ensure that we get pregnant. Here is the plan. My penis…
Malia: Baby! MJ: I’m here. What’s up? Malia: I’m going through withdraw MJ: Pregnancy withdraw? As in, not being pregnant and missing it withdraw? Malia: That to MJ: What’s the first thing if there is a “That to”? Malia: The thing makes me pregnant. MJ: Sex? Malia: Yes! MJ: Well I know the fix for that withdraw! Malia: You have…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I feel all hot. Why aren’t you bothering me with your penis?” Malia May Johnson “I’m sorry if I haven’t been giving you enough sex recently. Why don’t you and me get dirty while we…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “We don’t have much time, but will you make love to me for 5 minutes?” Malia May Johnson “Making eye contact when I am sucking you off is salacious as hell and I love it.”…
MJ: Baby people are dropping like flies. 4 people that we know have died this month. I’m sad about it. Malia: I know. I heard about Andy today. I’m sorry. MJ: November is the dyingest month. Malia: I would love on you and comfort you but I’m quarantined. MJ: I know babe. I love you. If there is anything I…