MJ: Question….What happened when I walked through the front door of our house today and my wife was waiting for me in a sexy as hell karate outfit, and says- “Are you ready for your naughty karate lesson “MJ The Terrible”? A. We immediately had awesome karate sex. B. Since I was already in a playful mood, I decided to…
This morning….. Malia: I wasn’t feeling very pretty today, but this cute boy on my left told me I was beautiful. Thank you for making my day baby! This afternoon….. There’s the “Mile High Club”, and other fun references for people that have had sex in certain places. I’m not sure if there is already a name for people who…
Malia: When do you sleep? MJ: I slept right next to you and our babies last night. Malia: We slept. I think they call what you did power napping. MJ: Baby, I don’t want to argue again today, and I’m in an aggressive, kick ass mood! I’ve got to get shit done before I head south to go meet with…
Malia: Baby, I need a tool that I can’t find in the tool box. MJ: I don’t even know where the tool box is. Can Mr. Pete help you until I finish working on something? Malia: This tool isn’t in the tool box, and Mr Pete’s tool isn’t the one I need! MJ: What kind of tool do you need?…
Malia: See the girl in this picture with you? MJ: Yes. She’s very pretty. Malia: Well shes ovulating. Do you know what that means? MJ: Ovulating- The discharging of ova or ovules from the ovary. Malia: And do you know what that means for you Mr. Johnson? MJ: I think I have a pretty good idea, but why don’t you…
“We just fucking broke the bed. No wait, we just broke the bed fucking. After we do it some more, remind me to get a sturdier bed. Something tells me we’re going to need it.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just…
Malia: Who do you think you are just kissing me like that? MJ: The luckiest man in the world. Malia: I hate you. MJ: Why? Malia: Because I’m a girl, and sometimes we want to get mad at our man for no reason at all while we are emotional. MJ: Are you mad at me? Malia: I want to be,…
Question: Hey Malia. Do you and MJ have separate his and hers closets? How much do you think everything of MJs in the closet is worth? How much is everything of yours in the closet worth? Sincerely Nosy Brat Malia: We do have separate his and hers closets. MJ doesn’t buy much for himself, and he mostly wears Adidas sweat…
Malia: My husband is a mad man. We are backstage at a Lana Del Rey concert, and my sexy crazy pervert of a husband is drunk off his ass, yelling “Stoli is my shit”. He even tried to have sex with me in the basketball teams locker room for crying out loud. “MJ The Horndog”. #whyisitsosexywhenmenactafool MJ: Tried to? Malia:…
MJ: Miss Malia, Christmas is coming up. Have you been naughty or nice? Malia: Naughty. MJ: Santa only gives presents to the nice girls. Malia: If “Santa The Terrible” wants me to keep sitting on his lap, he better bring me something good this year. I like Prada! MJ: Well, maybe Santa will let you slide this year little girl.…