Malia: Who do you think you are just kissing me like that? MJ: The luckiest man in the world. Malia: I hate you. MJ: Why? Malia: Because I’m a girl, and sometimes we want to get mad at our man for no reason at all while we are emotional. MJ: Are you mad at me? Malia: I want to be,…
Question: Hey Malia. Do you and MJ have separate his and hers closets? How much do you think everything of MJs in the closet is worth? How much is everything of yours in the closet worth? Sincerely Nosy Brat Malia: We do have separate his and hers closets. MJ doesn’t buy much for himself, and he mostly wears Adidas sweat…
Malia: My husband is a mad man. We are backstage at a Lana Del Rey concert, and my sexy crazy pervert of a husband is drunk off his ass, yelling “Stoli is my shit”. He even tried to have sex with me in the basketball teams locker room for crying out loud. “MJ The Horndog”. #whyisitsosexywhenmenactafool MJ: Tried to? Malia:…
MJ: Miss Malia, Christmas is coming up. Have you been naughty or nice? Malia: Naughty. MJ: Santa only gives presents to the nice girls. Malia: If “Santa The Terrible” wants me to keep sitting on his lap, he better bring me something good this year. I like Prada! MJ: Well, maybe Santa will let you slide this year little girl.…
Malia: I miss my half dead MJ sometimes. I miss being able to love on you whenever I wanted to. MJ: I’m down for a little role play reenactment. Malia: You will only play it for about 5 seconds before you wake up and grab my boobs. MJ: I hated being in the hospital. It’s hard to think about it. …
Malia: You know the Vendetta hacker masks? Mix that with my crazy hacker husband and what do you get? A “Flying dong hack attack.” We’re laying down to go to bed, and MJ says I’m going to the kitchen, I’ll be right back. I can hear the frig opening and closing like he’s getting food and stuff. Then I hear…
MJ: Baby, I just wanted to say………I LOVE KISSING YOU!!! Malia: I love kissing you more!!! MJ: Oh yeah? Well, I love kissing you more than you love kissing me. Boom! Malia: I love kissing you more than there are stars in the sky! Bigger boom! MJ: I love kissing you more than the biggest more, in the history of…
MJ: I took a screen shot of this text you sent to me a few years ago, so that one day when everything finally worked out for us, we could look back on just how far we’ve come. Malia: Are you sending me that screenshot because I got mad at you today? MJ: No. I was looking through all of…
MJ: Love me 4 times baby! 2 times for tomorrow, 2 times for today! Since the Doors sang “Love me 2 times” back in the 1960’s, there has been a lot of inflation, so now its “Love me 4 times!” Malia: If you’re gonna Doors dirty talk me, at least string a few of their songs together, like….You wanna be…
Malia: Hi “MJ The Terrible”. I am your biggest fan, and I have a request. Will you please come over to my apartment and make sweet sweet lovin to me, until we fall asleep in each others arms? MJ: I’m sorry maam, but I would never cheat on my wife. Not happenin! Malia: Can’t I at least tell you what…