May is military appreciation month, and you are an American hero Michael David Johnson. I really want to service you. I mean I really want to thank you for your service. You know that song “America, Fuck Yeah! Comin’ Again To Save The Mother Day” song from the Team America World Police movie? I know you do. I rewrote the…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I am so glad my thick thighs make your penis rise.” Malia May Johnson “Oh my god! I love when you move my hair and start kissing on my neck and rubbing your c@$k against…
Malia: Baby, do you know what sexual fetish you have? MJ: Maliaphobia? Malia: That would mean you have a sexual phobia about me. As in, you don’t want to have sex with me. MJ: Hornyformaliaalwaysophilia Malia: I like that one. If you put phila at the end of something it means you are all about it bout it. If you…
The Naughty Alphabet Motivated by my Sexy Bride Malia A is for Ass B is for Butt C is for Cumming D is for Dirty E is for Ecstasy F is for Fucking G is for Groaning H is for Horny I is for Intimate J is for Juggs K is for Kissing L is for Licking M is for…
You May Now Make Love To The Bride! MJ: Please don’t. MJ: Please don’t. MJ: Please don’t. MJ: Please don’t. Malia: Please don’t what? MJ: I can hear you singing the song by Adele “Never mind I’ll Find Someone Like You”. Malia: Aww! Are you feeling needy? MJ: More like wanty. Malia: This is what I can offer you. Sex…
Here is what happened when I walked into one of the spare bedrooms Malia is redoing, and I found her lying naked on the bed covered up by 3 giant stuffed animals, also known as “The Stuffed Animal Bandits”. MJ: Oh no! Andre The Giant Bear, Shamu, and Bad News Brown Dog are trying to kidnap Malia! Malia: Help me!…
MJ: Wow! You sent me an awesome naughty video! Malia: Yes I did! MJ: That was hot baby! What has got you all worked up? Malia: What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind. Your sexy blue eyes are what have me all worked up. MJ: You know how death row inmates get to have whatever…
MJ: I’m like milk. Malia: ? MJ: Because I’ll do your body good! Wanna fool around? Malia: Do you mean you are like Soy Milk because you will do my body good? MJ: No! Full milk all the way! Malia: I am lactose intolerant baby. Milk does my body bad. MJ: Shit! I did know that, but the pickup line…
Malia: Michael David Johnson! I am trying to poop in peace! I don’t need you to sing to me while I am pooping! MJ: I am just trying to help. Malia: How does you singing “Ah! Push it! Push it real good!”, help me to poop any better than when I poop in silence? MJ: It’s poop encouragement, and we…
MJ: You should have to register your butt as a deadly weapon. Malia: Ok. I will indulge you baby. Why should I have to register my butt as a deadly weapon? MJ: Because it is dangerous! Malia: How so? MJ: When your little niece came running around the corner, you spun your butt around, she ran into it, and the…