Malia: I am girls night out rusty.
MJ: How so?
Malia: 2 drinks and im already tipsy
MJ: Are you having a good time?
Malia: Yes but a couple more drinks and imma be wastieface.
MJ: You deserve a get drunk have fun night out. Enjoy it my love.
Malia: I am baby, and I am not thinking about home either. And you said I would text you like 50 times to check on my babies. So ha! I didn’t do that. So there!
MJ: Uh huh. I will let that slide. Have fun baby cakes.
Malia: What? I haven’t text you 50 times.
Malia: Did your mom roll on me? I thought it was hoes before bros?
MJ: She didn’t roll on you. I saw her phone light up when you text her a couple times.
Malia: I didn’t want you to know because you were absolutely right. I can’t help it. I am a all about my babies crazy momma.
MJ: I wasn’t making fun of you. I love that you are a all about our babies crazy momma.
Malia: We are having fun. Good clean fun. You don’t have to worry baby.
MJ: You mean you didn’t go to that Hard Bodies strip club y’all were talking about going to?
Malia: No, but the night is still young.
MJ: I fucking hate the idea of naked guys around you but I know you, and I trust you, and I love you.
Malia: And you know Brittany is with me and you probably told her that if a guy even gets close enough to whisper to me kick his ass. Am I right?
MJ: You know how I was right about you checking on our babies 50 times because I know you so well?
Malia: Yeah
MJ: Let’s just say you know me well to.
Malia: I figured. No male strip clubs. I love you
MJ: I love you too. Did y’all go big and drive to DC?
Malia: We did!
Malia: Is everyone asleep?
MJ: Yes. Enjoy yourself. We’re good. I promise.
Malia: I am drunk
MJ: I love you drunk girl. Go have fun!
Malia: K. Can you guess where we went? I will give you 3 guesses. And walk me through your thought process for your guesses. We have been there before. And I promise I won’t be pissed off about your thought process.
MJ: Based on who you are girls nighting with, I would guess somewhere upscale. Either Cut Above, Quill at The Jefferson, or The Park at 14th?
Malia: Nope! Here is a hint. “Vagina Gina’s”.
MJ: Oh yeah. Jane Jane, aka Vagina Gina’s.
Malia: I told the girls about Vagina Gina’s when we were trying to pick a place. I told them you said their ad should say- “Where country club queens drink when they are in DC. Come and enjoy fru fru rich bitch drinks at Vagina Gina’s.”
MJ: I am glad I entertain you with my foolishness.
Malia: You so do baby!
MJ: I am watching a video about the Johnny Depp Amber Heard trial. Johnny Depp is officially the only man to ever win an argument with a woman.
Malia: Don’t get any ideas. Women of the world wont let it happen again. Maybe in another hundred years. Wait to see.
MJ: Have fun my love.
3 hours later…..
Malia: We are on the wall home. So drunk. Will you hold my hair when i puking tomorrow?
MJ: Sure.
Malia: I know why you don’t object to me spending time with my friends.
MJ: Why’s that?
Malia: Because you know that me hearing how bad it is being divorced, or single in todays dating market, or married but the husband is an asshole, makes me appreciate you and what we have even more.
MJ: Ya got me. Guilty as charged. Jk. I wanted you to have fun. I am sorry other people are going through some shit. That said, I am glad you appreciate what we have.
Malia: Were home. I need hellp. Will you hlp Brittomu get mw ipsyairs?
And Then Vice President Kamala Harris Showed Up To Our Christmas Party – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/and-then-vice-president-kamala-harris-shows-up-to-your-christmas-party/
