Malia: Baby, I love you too much to let you go. If I can’t have you nobody can.
MJ: Sounds reasonable.
Malia: Promise me you will never leave me.
MJ: I promise I will never leave you. I am the happiest man on planet earth most days my love.
Malia: What about Jolene?
MJ: Who?
Malia: Jolene!
MJ: I don’t know anyone named Jolene.
Malia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOwblaKmyVw
MJ: Is Jolene a real person or a girl from a song?
Malia: She could be a real person.
MJ: Is this a situation where I need to turn down an imaginary woman to prove that I love you?
Malia: Yeah. Jolene is the ultimate road whore. That’s how I think about her.
MJ: No problem! I need a few minutes. I have to write a song.
Malia: What song?
MJ: “Anti-Jolene”
Malia: Baby, you don’t have to do that. I just like to hear you say you don’t want other women. You want me.
MJ: Hold please
Malia: K
MJ: Please enjoy the lyrics to “Anti-Jolene”
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I’m telling you to stay away, because my life is already great, Jolene.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
You will never be able to break Malia and I a part, no matter what you try to do, Jolene.
Malia’s beauty is beyond compare, with shining locks of long brown hair, with cinnamon skin and the most beautiful big brown eyes you’ve ever seen.
Her smile lights up a room. Her voice sounds like an angel calling. And you cannot compete with her, Jolene.
I dream about Malia May Johnson in my sleep. And there’s nothing you can do to compete with her, Jolene.
You need to find another guy, because Malia is the one and only for me, Jolene.
I hope you understand that you will never take Malia’s man, Jolene.
I wrote this song to make it clear how much Malia means to me, Jolene.
If you try to take me from Malia, my head of security Brittany White, will break your spleen, Jolene.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Since you could have your choice of men, why don’t you go find one of them, Jolene.
I love Malia more than life itself, and our happiness is high as hell, don’t try to mess that up, Jolene.
Jolene, the world is filled with men, why don’t you go find one of them, Jolene.
I had to write this song for you, so Malia knows I will always be true, no matter what you decide to do, Jolene.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Even Helen Keller could see, Malia is the one for me, Jolene.
Jolene now understands, she needs to go find another man, Malia.
Malia, Malia, Malia, Malia, you’re the only one for mea, Malia.
MJ: Did you like the lyrics to “Anti-Jolene”?
Malia: Yes! Thank you! My favorite lyric was “If you try to take me from Malia, my head of security Brittany White, will break your spleen, Jolene.”
MJ: I love you
Malia: I am so happy! I love how happy we are. I feel like we are living in a fairy tale, and I don’t want some road whore like Jolene to try to mess up our happiness. Thank you for always taking the time to reassure me even when I’m being preggo hormones psycho.
MJ: You have been there for me during my darkest times, so of course I will be there for you whenever, wherever, however you need me.
Malia: I wrote a “Deep Poetry Feeling Shit” poem about your penis. It’s an interactive poem. I just wanted you to know what is waiting for you when you get home.
MJ: What is the real name of “Deep Poetry Feeling Shit”? I’m sorry I called it that. I wasn’t trying to make fun of it. It just slipped out.
Malia: I know baby. It’s called Slam Poetry, but I like calling it Deep Poetry Feeling Shit, because it is kind of like our own version of Slam Poetry.
MJ: I’ll see you tonight my love.
Malia: K. I miss you like a psycho when you’re not here.
MJ: I must be a psycho too then because I miss you when I’m not with you too.
MJ, I wrote this “Deep Poetry Feeling Shit” for you….. https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/mj-i-wrote-this-deep-poetry-feeling-shit-for-you/
