Malia: Baby I am so forgetful. I forgot how babies are made. Do you remember? MJ: Oh no! I do remember. Malia: How are babies made? MJ: Telling you is not as much fun. I would rather show you. Malia: Yes! I would love that! I am feeling very forgetful today. You may have to show me twice. MJ: Making…
While I’m working on a project we are staying in a compound at Naval Base San Diego. The building I’m working in is close to the compound my family and I are living in. I like it because it makes it easy to eat lunch with my family, spend time with our kids, or come home for a quickie(like today),…
Malia: Hey sexy man in the picture, my doctor just told me it has been long enough after having the baby that we can start having intercourse again when I’m ready. News flash Michael David Johnson…………..I’m ready! I’m sooooooo ready! That’s the part where you come in. Feel like playing hookie from work today for some nookie with me? Please????…
MJ: Did your mom come pick up the kids yet? Malia: Yes. I’m excited to go to the game. Hook’em Horns! MJ: Baby, my balls are the same color as the ocean. I want to skip the game and bang the shit out if you! Malia: Are you just saying that? I know how much you like the Longhorns. MJ:…
“We just fucking broke the bed. No wait, we just broke the bed fucking. After we do it some more, remind me to get a sturdier bed. Something tells me we’re going to need it.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just…
MJ: Baby, take a hint. Can you see the hidden message in the picture? Malia: You want to poke and explore me? MJ: Yes I do! Malia: Thank God! It is the only thing that makes me feel comfortable. Your unborn twins are training like Rocky in my belly. MJ: ETA 5 min The World Famous “Mother Fucker” Sex Post…
Malia: Who do you think you are just kissing me like that? MJ: The luckiest man in the world. Malia: I hate you. MJ: Why? Malia: Because I’m a girl, and sometimes we want to get mad at our man for no reason at all while we are emotional. MJ: Are you mad at me? Malia: I want to be,…
It’s 5am, I’m wide awake, I’m ready to kick ass today, and it’s all because of my woman. I have to be at a meeting at Fort Hood today at 8am, and I am not a morning person. So….how am I wide awake and ready to kick ass at 5am? Because of a woman. Malia got up at 4:30am, made…
MJ: Miss Malia, Christmas is coming up. Have you been naughty or nice? Malia: Naughty. MJ: Santa only gives presents to the nice girls. Malia: If “Santa The Terrible” wants me to keep sitting on his lap, he better bring me something good this year. I like Prada! MJ: Well, maybe Santa will let you slide this year little girl.…
Malia: You know the Vendetta hacker masks? Mix that with my crazy hacker husband and what do you get? A “Flying dong hack attack.” We’re laying down to go to bed, and MJ says I’m going to the kitchen, I’ll be right back. I can hear the frig opening and closing like he’s getting food and stuff. Then I hear…