Dubs- Head of security for our family. Malia- Wife of Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson Dubs: Thank you for helping me search the archives Dubs. These are the back and forth texts between MJ and I, from the first time he met my friends. And every single one of them are still our friends to this day>>> Malia: Is something…
Malia: My husband is a mad man. We are backstage at a Lana Del Rey concert, and my sexy crazy pervert of a husband is drunk off his ass, yelling “Stoli is my shit”. He even tried to have sex with me in the basketball teams locker room for crying out loud. “MJ The Horndog”. #whyisitsosexywhenmenactafool MJ: Tried to? Malia:…
Hey MJ! Mike Westbrooks from Toronto. You ever wear a chastity lock on your wang to spice things up with Malia? MJ: Thanks for the question Mike, but why would I wear a chastity lock on my wang? How could we have sex? Mike Westbrooks: You know. Like so you couldn’t have sex. It is frustrating and it makes you…
MJ: Malia, thank you for making me feel so loved that I actually have trouble processing the hate Gotye constantly throws at me. If/when(unfortunately) Gotye blows this opportunity to be a good coparent, I know we will raise CJ the right way, in the completely supportive and loving environment he deserves Malia: As far as I’m concerned, we have 4…
MJ: Excuse me Maam, but you have one rockin hot body for a pregnant chick. Malia: Then come rock it! MJ: Mrs. Johnson, by the time you get done listening to this song, I will be doing exactly as you have requested- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SdIVPs8gZ8
Question: My question is for Malia. I am a sexologist. I can’t see you but I bet you laughed like everyone else does when I tell them what my profession is. I am currently studying the smell of men’s “goo”, if you will. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind sharing what MJ THE TERRIBLE’s you know, stuff smells like?…
MJ: I took a screen shot of this text you sent to me a few years ago, so that one day when everything finally worked out for us, we could look back on just how far we’ve come. Malia: Are you sending me that screenshot because I got mad at you today? MJ: No. I was looking through all of…
Malia: Hi “MJ The Terrible”. I am your biggest fan, and I have a request. Will you please come over to my apartment and make sweet sweet lovin to me, until we fall asleep in each others arms? MJ: I’m sorry maam, but I would never cheat on my wife. Not happenin! Malia: Can’t I at least tell you what…
Malia: We had sex last night when you were unconscious. MJ: Was I any good? Malia: Good enough. MJ: Cool. Malia: You consented. MJ: How could I if I was unconscious? Malia: Your body said you were ready. MJ: My body consented? You should be a lawyer babe. Malia: Your mind didn’t need to consent, because your body did. MJ:…
Malia: Take the “Mother fucking” hint MJ- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXACZdYN18Y Malia: “50 Shades of Terrible”…..right meow please MJ: Perfect timing! He just left. Malia: I just watched the movie. I’m in the mood. MJ: 50 Shades Preggo edition…..coming right up! Do you want to be James Bond and get the girl or what? – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/do-you-want-to-be-james-bond-and-get-the-girl-or-what/