Malia: When do you sleep? MJ: I slept right next to you and our babies last night. Malia: We slept. I think they call what you did power napping. MJ: Baby, I don’t want to argue again today, and I’m in an aggressive, kick ass mood! I’ve got to get shit done before I head south to go meet with…
Malia: See the girl in this picture with you? MJ: Yes. She’s very pretty. Malia: Well shes ovulating. Do you know what that means? MJ: Ovulating- The discharging of ova or ovules from the ovary. Malia: And do you know what that means for you Mr. Johnson? MJ: I think I have a pretty good idea, but why don’t you…
Question: Hey Malia. What quirky cute and sexy things does MJ do that you really like? Beth Vanguard, Greenwich, CT Answer: Hey Beth. These are the ones that immediately come to mind. Every time he gets into bed, or gets out of bed, he kisses me. It might be on my leg or my head or my lips, but he…
Malia: How was your haircut? MJ: It was good. I just like the military cut place better. I don’t need a handjob while I have steamed towels exfoliating my face, before I get my haircut. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy it, but sometimes I need it quick. You know what I mean? Malia: They do not give you a…
Dubs- Head of security for our family. Malia- Wife of Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson Dubs: Thank you for helping me search the archives Dubs. These are the back and forth texts between MJ and I, from the first time he met my friends. And every single one of them are still our friends to this day>>> Malia: Is something…
Malia: My husband is a mad man. We are backstage at a Lana Del Rey concert, and my sexy crazy pervert of a husband is drunk off his ass, yelling “Stoli is my shit”. He even tried to have sex with me in the basketball teams locker room for crying out loud. “MJ The Horndog”. #whyisitsosexywhenmenactafool MJ: Tried to? Malia:…
Hey MJ! Mike Westbrooks from Toronto. You ever wear a chastity lock on your wang to spice things up with Malia? MJ: Thanks for the question Mike, but why would I wear a chastity lock on my wang? How could we have sex? Mike Westbrooks: You know. Like so you couldn’t have sex. It is frustrating and it makes you…
MJ: Malia, thank you for making me feel so loved that I actually have trouble processing the hate Gotye constantly throws at me. If/when(unfortunately) Gotye blows this opportunity to be a good coparent, I know we will raise CJ the right way, in the completely supportive and loving environment he deserves Malia: As far as I’m concerned, we have 4…
MJ: Excuse me Maam, but you have one rockin hot body for a pregnant chick. Malia: Then come rock it! MJ: Mrs. Johnson, by the time you get done listening to this song, I will be doing exactly as you have requested- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SdIVPs8gZ8
Question: My question is for Malia. I am a sexologist. I can’t see you but I bet you laughed like everyone else does when I tell them what my profession is. I am currently studying the smell of men’s “goo”, if you will. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind sharing what MJ THE TERRIBLE’s you know, stuff smells like?…