Malia May Johnson At The Beach Looking Out At The Ocean Picture
Personal Life

3-8-2012 forever baby!

You never know when or where you will meet someone that will change your life forever. Always be open to opportunities. Thank you for saying yes to going on a date with me eventually.  Thank you for marrying me.  Thank you for making me a father.  3-8-2012 forever baby! I love you Malia May Johnson!

Malia and Michael MJ The Terrible Johnson Cheetos Selfie Photo
Personal Life

WTF Is Postnatal Coitus?

Malia: I love your Cheetos post. Great memories! This is my favorite Cheetos picture of us. Thinking about our Cheetos moments makes me want to have more Cheetos moments. MJ: Agreed Malia: Are you in the mood for some postnatal coitus? MJ: Huh? Malia: Sex baby! Sex! Postnatal coitus is a fancy medical term for having sex after giving birth.…

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Michael MJ The Terrible Johnson Custom Needle Shower Picture
Personal Life

Handjob Haircuts

Malia: How was your haircut? MJ: It was good. I just like the military cut place better. I don’t need a handjob while I have steamed towels exfoliating my face, before I get my haircut. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy it, but sometimes I need it quick. You know what I mean? Malia: They do not give you a…

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