MJ: I found the song from the Jack Reacher and the girl from the babysitting movie song to make sweet lovin in the shower to like they did in the movie. Malia: Jack Reacher? Girl from the baby sitting movie? Malia: Oh. I got it. Tom Cruise and Elisabeth Shue. It’s called Top Gun. Malia: Ugh! You’ve got me thinking…
Malia: Sometimes I wonder what sex looks like from your angle. MJ: I’m not gonna lie. It’s a pretty damn good view. Malia: Like, I wonder what it looks like when you hold my hands down like that. MJ: There’s only one way for you to find out. Malia: Are you going to take a picture? MJ: Yeah. Malia: Relationship…
You never know when or where you will meet someone that will change your life forever. Always be open to opportunities. Thank you for saying yes to going on a date with me eventually. Thank you for marrying me. Thank you for making me a father. 3-8-2012 forever baby! I love you Malia May Johnson!
Malia: I love your Cheetos post. Great memories! This is my favorite Cheetos picture of us. Thinking about our Cheetos moments makes me want to have more Cheetos moments. MJ: Agreed Malia: Are you in the mood for some postnatal coitus? MJ: Huh? Malia: Sex baby! Sex! Postnatal coitus is a fancy medical term for having sex after giving birth.…
MJ: Hey baby. I needed to take a break for a minute. I have a question for you. How come you weren’t all over me today? Do you feel ok? Malia: If I’m not all over you wanting to have sex then I must be sick? MJ: I didn’t mean it like that. Malia: How did you mean it? MJ:…
Malia: How was your haircut? MJ: It was good. I just like the military cut place better. I don’t need a handjob while I have steamed towels exfoliating my face, before I get my haircut. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy it, but sometimes I need it quick. You know what I mean? Malia: They do not give you a…
Hey MJ! Mike Westbrooks from Toronto. You ever wear a chastity lock on your wang to spice things up with Malia? MJ: Thanks for the question Mike, but why would I wear a chastity lock on my wang? How could we have sex? Mike Westbrooks: You know. Like so you couldn’t have sex. It is frustrating and it makes you…
MJ: Miss Malia, Christmas is coming up. Have you been naughty or nice? Malia: Naughty. MJ: Santa only gives presents to the nice girls. Malia: If “Santa The Terrible” wants me to keep sitting on his lap, he better bring me something good this year. I like Prada! MJ: Well, maybe Santa will let you slide this year little girl.…
MJ: Malia “Sexy As Hell” Johnson, I’m sorry I didn’t pick up the phone earlier, and you were pissed. I just listened to your 8 “Where the fuck are you?” messages, and I just wanted to say, I think you’re going to like my excuse. Please see attached queen feisty pants. Malia: I heard about it. People have been calling…
Omg we love this painting!!! For lack of better words, and I mean no disrespect here, the trash art guy who did this for us is a frickin genius!!! It’s a sponge painting that’s about 3 feet tall, and 2 feet wide. He only charged me $20!! I had it made for Malia as an apology gift for when Matthew…