Malia: Sometimes I wonder what sex looks like from your angle. MJ: I’m not gonna lie. It’s a pretty damn good view. Malia: Like, I wonder what it looks like when you hold my hands down like that. MJ: There’s only one way for you to find out. Malia: Are you going to take a picture? MJ: Yeah. Malia: Relationship…
MJ: Baby, you are a badass with a sexy ass. Malia: I love you MJ: Dick biter! Malia: That’s what you get for smacking me in the face with it. MJ: Well guess what. Malia: Chicken butt? MJ: Your butt! Guess what else. Malia: What else? MJ: I see London. I see France. I wanna see a South African girls…
Axl Rose Is On The Phone For You This was the conversation between MJ, Axl Rose, and me (Malia). Malia: Hey baby, Axl Rose is on the phone for you. MJ: No shit? I forgot to tell you Elvis called earlier. Malia: What is your favorite Guns N’ Roses song? MJ: I don’t know. I grew up listening to their…
I just found out my schedule has me working with Solar Winds this summer/fall, in Austin. It has been a while since we have been able to spend time with our friends and family, and I am looking forward to it…..Deep in the heart of Texas! As my wife Malia said today- “We might live primarily in Bethesda, and we…
This morning my brother from another Mother Marcus came over to drop something off. Marcus saw my daughter Elizabeth, who’s first word by the way was “Dada”, and he immediately said – “Aww! Liz is adorable. The boys are going to be lined up around the block to ask her out when she gets older.” Listen here you little future…
The Texas version of the song, “Baby It’s Cold Outside”: Baby It’s Hot Outside – I really can’t stay – Baby it’s hot outside I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s hot outside This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in So very nice – I’ll get you a drink filled with ice My family will…
Note: 6,7, or 8 is the 6th, 7th, or 8th divorce lawyer MJ’s exwife Gotye had. AG: The initials of MJ’s divorce lawyer. AG: Hi. 6, 7, or 8: Hi. AG: I’m glad we could finally talk. 6, 7, or 8: Me too. I’m worried about him. AG: Him who? 6, 7, or 8: Your client. AG: Why? 6, 7,…
I can hear you 2 shitheads! If I even smell a hint of beer in Elizabeth’s room, or you spill something, I’m pregnant with “MJ The Terrible’s” twins, so I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to claim temporary insanity for killing you both. MJ’s buddy Kevin is here for the wedding, so let the bromance begin. Kevin and MJ have already…
Any guesses as to what finger Malia is holding up? Yep! It’s the middle one. MJ: Today I lied to her and did something behind her back, but instead of confessing, because I wanted to keep this a secret from her, for a good reason, I did the worst thing I could have possibly done, and got caught…..I lied! Malia,…