MJ: Baby, remember when we were talking about organizing my son and I’s apartment, and you offered to help organize it because “I’m a guy and I have no idea how to organize an apartment, and if you wouldn’t have helped me organize my old house, that place would have been a disgusting pigsty, not fit to raise my son…
MJ: My only complaint is what AG said about the apartment. “The CJ apartment can be nice, but I would stop short of luxurious.” On the tour today, I missed the “can be nice” part. Maybe they just went straight to the luxurious part? Anyway, I do like the place, but I think this is the definition of luxurious, even…
Malia: Mr Johnson. Your services are required in the bedroom. MJ: No. I’ve got nothing left. Malia: Let’s check and see. The only way we will know is if we check. MJ: I think I’m down to like bone marrow at this point. You need help woman. I’m calling a sex therapist. Malia: You are so right. I do need…
MJ: An “MJ The Terrible” electric car? Baby, I know this was your idea. The other day Malia said- “I have a riddle for you. Let’s see if you can hack it “MJ The Malia’s Husband”. What is white, was picked by a black woman, supports green, and has your name all over it?” Baby, I was able to hack…
MJ: Some people may have been mean to us in the past, but I’m done thinking about it. I’m ready to forgive and forget. Malia: We are a team right? MJ: Right. Malia: Good, then you do the forgiving and the forgetting for now, and I’ll do the recovering and the remembering, and I will remind you when to remember…
MJ: This was not my idea my love. You know your body is the only one the real “MJ The Terrible” wants to be in bed with. Malia: It is ok baby. I am ok with the sexy girl promo video, just like I’m sure you will be ok with the sexy guy promo I am doing next week. MJ:…
MJ: Baby, I don’t love you anymore….. Malia: Baby, I saw your draft of this message on your laptop, and my first thought was, if he is going to mess with me and expect to freak me out, he shouldn’t have started the message with “Baby”, but……. MJ: And if you believe that I have some ocean front property in…
MJ: Baby, did you mess with my phone? All of my texts with Gotye are gone, and she is no longer in my contacts. I tried to enter her # so I can check on you know who, but my phone is not letting me do it. Dubs: I did it. You will be able to resume communication with Gotye…
MJ: Baby I am drunk but I wan yoy to knlw I carry these thibgs around with me all the timer because I didn’t know the worst tine of my life wpuld turn out tp ne the best. Itd because of you Malia. I love yoy. Im sorry I smell lick alcohol and dont wsnt to kiss me tonight. I…
Malia: MJ, even Superman has to rest. You slept at least 16 hours. You needed it! Malia: I did good things. Now I’m ready to do bad things to you. Men expect their wives to perform “wifely duties”, meaning sex, just because the man wants it. This is 2017. Women should be able to do the same thing. I am…