Malia: Save a horse. Ride an MJ? MJ: I gotta be out the door in 10 minutes. Malia: Perfect! MJ: Is this “strategic sex” as you call it? Because you want your smell and stuff on me because I will see my ex tonight? Malia: Its weird because I’m not jealous of her, and I know you would never cheat…
Malia: How are you already up and working? You didn’t sleep. Ugh! If you were up here right now. I’m in the mood. MJ: Well you’re in luck! Because I’m in bathroom. Oh, and I’m in the mother fuckin mood as well. Malia: Wait. What? Why did you say mother fuckin mood? MJ: No reason at all. It was just…
MJ: Are you ready for baby making practice today? Malia: Not yet. MJ: You mean to tell me that Mrs Always Wants A Baby, we need to be trying constantly, is not ready? I don’t believe it! Did hell freeze over or something? Malia: I am buying you a present. MJ: Aww. Baby. You don’t have to buy me anything.…
Malia: When do you sleep? MJ: I slept right next to you and our babies last night. Malia: We slept. I think they call what you did power napping. MJ: Baby, I don’t want to argue again today, and I’m in an aggressive, kick ass mood! I’ve got to get shit done before I head south to go meet with…
Malia: Baby, I need a tool that I can’t find in the tool box. MJ: I don’t even know where the tool box is. Can Mr. Pete help you until I finish working on something? Malia: This tool isn’t in the tool box, and Mr Pete’s tool isn’t the one I need! MJ: What kind of tool do you need?…
Malia: See the girl in this picture with you? MJ: Yes. She’s very pretty. Malia: Well shes ovulating. Do you know what that means? MJ: Ovulating- The discharging of ova or ovules from the ovary. Malia: And do you know what that means for you Mr. Johnson? MJ: I think I have a pretty good idea, but why don’t you…
“We just fucking broke the bed. No wait, we just broke the bed fucking. After we do it some more, remind me to get a sturdier bed. Something tells me we’re going to need it.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just…
In the building Malia(my wife) and I live in, in downtown Austin, on the 10th floor, they have a sports bar, where anyone who lives in the building, can stop to have a drink, eat a burger, etc. Well, tonight I ran into one of our friends, who is recently single, and just started dating. Myself, and a few of…
World, meet Natalie Marie Johnson, and Michael Christian Johnson. Natalie Marie Johnson, and Michael Christian Johnson, meet the world. We have some funny/crazy stories about what all happened before, during, and after their births, which we will be happy to share later, but for now, we are just enjoying finally being able to share the good news with y’all. Thank…
“How to keep a good man happy….Keep his brain focused, his heart racing, his belly full, his balls drained, believe in him, and be there for him.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just about anything else that one person can be…