MJ and I met on March 8th, 2012. MJ was going through a lot at the time. He was dealing with the fallout from being the alleged architect of Stuxnet, the world’s first cyber weapon that almost caused World War III. MJ was still married to his first wife. I refer to her as his practice wife, because MJ was…
Malia: Baby, remember this? It is always interesting to see what your brilliant, loving, and slightly perverted, but in a good way, mind will come up with. I know you hand wrote the Dear P@$$y letter back in the day, but your handwriting looks like ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics, no offense, so I typed it out to be able to post…
Alleged Crime: Exceeding The Maximum Sexiness Level MJ: I do believe that then and there Malia May Johnson committed the crime of exceeding the maximum sexiness level. Malia: Shouldn’t it be I do believe that here and now I committed the crime of exceeding the sexy level? MJ: On arrest warrants it says then and there, not here and now.…
You never know when or where you will meet someone that will change your life forever. Always be open to opportunities. Thank you for saying yes to going on a date with me eventually. Thank you for marrying me. Thank you for making me a father. 3-8-2012 forever baby! I love you Malia May Johnson!
“Baby, my temperature has to be at least like elevendy billion degrees. I feel like a nuclear friggin reactor or something. I’m pretty sure I could power a small city with all the heat my body is generating right now.” MJ was tested. It is not COVID, but his temperature got as high as 104. MJ’s mom flew up to…
Malia: Hey baby. I read your email. Sorry you are having a stressful day. I love you. I am available if you need some stress relief if you know what I mean. MJ: Thanks babe. I love you too. Malia: You are usually all about it bout it when I offer “stress relief”. I am a good listener. We can…
Malia: Mr. “MJ The Terrible”, why do you want to fight with your wife when we could be doing something a whole lot more fun together? We have a babysitter tonight! MJ: You started it! Malia: You started it! MJ: You started it!! Malia: You started it!!!!! MJ: You were relentless with your feistiness today. Malia: And clearly I need…
Malia: Remember all of the people who told us our marriage wouldn’t last 6 months? MJ: I do, but I didn’t pay them much attention. Malia: Me either, but I got an email from one of our biggest marriage doubters/haters today. MJ: ……. Malia: I didn’t respond to their email. I really just wanted an excuse to post my favorite…
Request: Hey Malia and MJ. I have a request. Will you post the ferris wheel video of you and MJ together? You recommend a movie during the video and I want to watch that movie. I love you guys. Sorry about the movie delay. I will watch it whenever it is released. Your biggest fan- Kayla Owens Reply: Hi Kayla.…
MJ can’t find his ipod, so I told him he could use mine. MJ The Terrible sings Malia’s playlists is very entertaining. Apparently John Mayer has been singing the wrong words all these years. John Mayer sings “Your body is a wonderland”. My husband MJ sings “Your body is a one-night stand”. I pretty much knew being with MJ was…