Malia: Hey sexy man in the picture, my doctor just told me it has been long enough after having the baby that we can start having intercourse again when I’m ready. News flash Michael David Johnson…………..I’m ready! I’m sooooooo ready! That’s the part where you come in. Feel like playing hookie from work today for some nookie with me? Please????…
When you find Mr or Mrs Right……Holy shit is it incredible! Texts between my wife and I- Malia: What time do you think you’ll be home baby? MJ: Depending on the traffic, in probably about an hour or so. I miss you. Malia: Do you mean you miss sex? MJ: I miss you overall, but yes, I miss sex too.…
This picture of my wife Malia and I, at Zilker Park, in Austin, Texas, is one of my favorites. It is one of my favorites because of how much fun we had that day. We were celebrating finally getting to be together. We were celebrating a big financial win, and we were also falling in love. Side note- I was…
This was a conversation my beautiful wife Malia and I had just had, while sitting out on our balcony, at our vacation villa in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Malia: Baby, I love it here! How is your stress level? MJ: Me too. It is less than zero baby. Malia: Are you mad that I forced this vacation on you? MJ:…
Malia: How is it going? MJ: Good. How is the home front? How is Cash? Does he still have a temperature? Malia: We’re good. Cash is back to normal. He is smiling and laughing. I think he misses his daddy. MJ: His daddy misses him too! Malia: Mommy misses daddy. MJ: Oh yeah? Malia: Oh yeah! Since you are working…
MJ: Are you ready for baby making practice today? Malia: Not yet. MJ: You mean to tell me that Mrs Always Wants A Baby, we need to be trying constantly, is not ready? I don’t believe it! Did hell freeze over or something? Malia: I am buying you a present. MJ: Aww. Baby. You don’t have to buy me anything.…
Malia: When do you sleep? MJ: I slept right next to you and our babies last night. Malia: We slept. I think they call what you did power napping. MJ: Baby, I don’t want to argue again today, and I’m in an aggressive, kick ass mood! I’ve got to get shit done before I head south to go meet with…
Malia: Baby, I need a tool that I can’t find in the tool box. MJ: I don’t even know where the tool box is. Can Mr. Pete help you until I finish working on something? Malia: This tool isn’t in the tool box, and Mr Pete’s tool isn’t the one I need! MJ: What kind of tool do you need?…
Malia: See the girl in this picture with you? MJ: Yes. She’s very pretty. Malia: Well shes ovulating. Do you know what that means? MJ: Ovulating- The discharging of ova or ovules from the ovary. Malia: And do you know what that means for you Mr. Johnson? MJ: I think I have a pretty good idea, but why don’t you…
“We just fucking broke the bed. No wait, we just broke the bed fucking. After we do it some more, remind me to get a sturdier bed. Something tells me we’re going to need it.” Malia May Johnson (My wife, best friend, lover, mother of my children(I love you too CJ), nurse, doctor, confidant, my right hand wo-man, and just…