Malia: Hey cute boy, when you get done with what you are working on, will you come watch Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin Eve with me? MJ: Sure. Dick Clark still doing that, huh? Malia: Well, now he is New Year’s Rockin Eve in heaven. MJ: Oh. Is Dick Clark Jr hosting it or something? Malia: No. It’s Ryan Seacrest.…
Malia: Baby, would you still love me if I looked like this…….. MJ: Yes, but I am glad you look like this……… Malia: Would you really love me if I looked like that? MJ: Yes. I don’t just love you for your looks, but your beauty doesn’t hurt either. Malia: That is the heaviest woman in the world. MJ: I…
Malia: Hey baby. I read your email. Sorry you are having a stressful day. I love you. I am available if you need some stress relief if you know what I mean. MJ: Thanks babe. I love you too. Malia: You are usually all about it bout it when I offer “stress relief”. I am a good listener. We can…
MJ can’t find his ipod, so I told him he could use mine. MJ The Terrible sings Malia’s playlists is very entertaining. Apparently John Mayer has been singing the wrong words all these years. John Mayer sings “Your body is a wonderland”. My husband MJ sings “Your body is a one-night stand”. I pretty much knew being with MJ was…
Malia: Guess what I have my eye on in this picture baby? MJ: I don’t know, what? Malia: I have my eye on you! MJ: Aww! I love you baby. Malia: I have my eye on you for a reason. MJ: Oh yeah? What’s that? Malia: Well, your mission, should you choose to accept it, and you will, is to…
I showed MJ this kiss collage picture, and he said- “Thank you for kissing me nice.” The bottom picture was taken in 2012 when MJ was dealing with all of the Stuxnet computer virus fallout. The top picture was taken in 2017. I love to see you smile baby. I love it when I am the reason you are smiling.…
To Malia May Johnson, Happy 8 Year Anniversary of the day we first “officially met”! Happy 4 Year Engagement Anniversary! Happy 3 Year Wedding Anniversary! Happy Monthaversary! I would be lost without you! I can’t live without you! I would die for you! All of my love, MJ P.S. I love you with every beat of my heart! The Center…
Oh no! My wife is possessed. I was going to call the Ghostbusters to come get her, but then she wanted to have sex with me, and since even though she was possessed and all, she is still my wife, and she was looking preggo sexy as hell! I decided to risk it. I love you baby, even when you…
Yesterday Malia and I were talking about some of our most fun dates, and she brought up the time we went to the house where they filmed the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie in Granger, Texas, which is not to far from Austin. Due to my alleged involvement as the chief architect of the Stuxnet computer virus which had international consequences,…
MJ I love you to death, but all work and no sex doesn’t make a baby. The problem is your work sex balance is off. I got you a present to unwrap to fix that. It’s me! 👉 + 👌 = 👪 XOXOXOXO Now come unwrap me! Some of my favorite hot/sexy quotes from my best friend, lover, mother of…