When we first got married a lot of people asked me why I married “MJ The Terrible”. My answer was simple. MJ, who has the nickname “MJ The Terrible”, for supposedly being the chief architect of the world’s largest computer virus called Stuxnet and I, are meant to be together. We just fit, and that’s it. 6 years later, I’m…
Victoria Johnson, Welcome to the world Victoria Johnson, I feel like the luckiest/happiest guy in the world. Here is the newest edition to our growing family. Our little lucky charm was born on St. Patrick’s Day! Welcome to the world Victoria Johnson. Victoria, this is the very first thing your beautiful mommy Malia ever said after you were born- “Aww,…
When you find Mr or Mrs Right……Holy shit is it incredible! Texts between my wife and I- Malia: What time do you think you’ll be home baby? MJ: Depending on the traffic, in probably about an hour or so. I miss you. Malia: Do you mean you miss sex? MJ: I miss you overall, but yes, I miss sex too.…
My 6-year-old son CJ and I’s bed time conversation last night- Daddy: If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? CJ: I would go to Paradise City. Daddy: Ok, where is that? CJ: I don’t know. Side note- I asked him probably 6-8 more questions about it, and he finally said- “Let me sing it to…
This was a conversation my beautiful wife Malia and I had just had, while sitting out on our balcony, at our vacation villa in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Malia: Baby, I love it here! How is your stress level? MJ: Me too. It is less than zero baby. Malia: Are you mad that I forced this vacation on you? MJ:…
MJ: Did your mom come pick up the kids yet? Malia: Yes. I’m excited to go to the game. Hook’em Horns! MJ: Baby, my balls are the same color as the ocean. I want to skip the game and bang the shit out if you! Malia: Are you just saying that? I know how much you like the Longhorns. MJ:…
Trick or Treat Naughty Style: Malia: I was so embarrassed last night. I can’t believe Alexa sent Emma and I’s private convo to you. MJ: Baby! It’s all good. What is a “deep orgasm” anyway? Malia: It’s the good kind. Do you talk about our sex life with the guys? MJ: Sometimes. Malia: What do you say? MJ: Good things.…
Malia: Thank you Alexa for messing up my wife’s voice commands, and accidentally sending me this make me feel awesome message, that was intended for her friend Emma- “He is the first and only man I have been with that gives me deep orgasms. I have only been with 2 other men besides MJ. I enjoyed sex with them, but…
MJ: Question….What happened when I walked through the front door of our house today and my wife was waiting for me in a sexy as hell karate outfit, and says- “Are you ready for your naughty karate lesson “MJ The Terrible”? A. We immediately had awesome karate sex. B. Since I was already in a playful mood, I decided to…
This morning….. Malia: I wasn’t feeling very pretty today, but this cute boy on my left told me I was beautiful. Thank you for making my day baby! This afternoon….. There’s the “Mile High Club”, and other fun references for people that have had sex in certain places. I’m not sure if there is already a name for people who…