MJ: I’m like milk. Malia: ? MJ: Because I’ll do your body good! Wanna fool around? Malia: Do you mean you are like Soy Milk because you will do my body good? MJ: No! Full milk all the way! Malia: I am lactose intolerant baby. Milk does my body bad. MJ: Shit! I did know that, but the pickup line…
Tag: Love
Remote Neural Monitoring and Falling In Love
Malia: Baby, I’m answering anything goes with Malia q&a questions. They wanted me to ask you if Remote Neural Monitoring is real, and if you know anything about it. MJ: I can’t talk about that, and even if I could, I wouldn’t. Malia: That’s a yes and a yes. I’ve learned your secret cyber spy speak baby. MJ: I love…
We Can Work It out
MJ: Quick question. Do we have any dinner dates lined up in the next couple of weeks? Malia: No. Not that I can think of. MJ: Are you sure? Malia: Yep MJ: Have you made any new friends recently? Malia: Nope. MJ: Do you promise you haven’t made any new friends recently, and we don’t have any dinner plans in…
You’ve Got To Stand For Something or You’ll Fall For Anything by Malia May Johnson
Dedicated to my loving husband (with some side notes for explanation and perspective purposes). MJ, I was born in South Africa, and I lived in South Africa until I graduated secondary school (high school) and came to America to go to college. Most of my family still lives in South Africa. I had a very happy childhood. I am proud…
Sexy Self Defense
Malia: Michael David Johnson! I am trying to poop in peace! I don’t need you to sing to me while I am pooping! MJ: I am just trying to help. Malia: How does you singing “Ah! Push it! Push it real good!”, help me to poop any better than when I poop in silence? MJ: It’s poop encouragement, and we…
Malia’s Deadly Butt Weapon
MJ: You should have to register your butt as a deadly weapon. Malia: Ok. I will indulge you baby. Why should I have to register my butt as a deadly weapon? MJ: Because it is dangerous! Malia: How so? MJ: When your little niece came running around the corner, you spun your butt around, she ran into it, and the…
“Stimulated! Stimulated! Oh baby!”
MJ: I just talked to my mom. Thank you for helping her lenes. Malia: I don’t understand. The “lenes”? MJ: Yeah, every lady in her church group’s name ends in lene. Carlene, Jolene, Ilene, Sharlene, Paulene. There are probably more lenes than that. Malia: OMG! All of their names do end in lene besides your mom and one other lady.…
“That’s The Last Thing On My Mind!”
This morning I was moody, bitchy, and feisty. I was in a bad mood, and I took it out on MJ. My boobs were sore from breastfeeding. I was feeling morning sicknessy. I rolled over to kiss MJ this morning and he accidentally headbutted me. My pregnancy hormones were raging. I still had Italian road whore hitting on MJ, on…
My Top 20 Favorite Sexy Foreplay Posts on Therealmjtheterrible.com By Malia May Johnson
I was going to do a top 10 favorite foreplay posts, but then it turned into a top 15, which turned into a top 20, which would have turned into a top 25, or 30, or 35, etc., probably, if I had more time. I love my husband MJ, and I love making love to him. I get asked a…
Malia and MJ’s entire relationship explained as quickly as possible by Kevin
Hello world! I am reposting this post one of MJ’s hacker buddies named Kevin wrote and posted on August 8, 2017, because I just read it for the first time, and I love it! Good one Kev! Sincerely, Malia I’m doin it! I’m doin it! Malia and MJ’s entire relationship explained as quickly as possible… Malia: Hi, I’m a young,…