Malia: Michael David Johnson! I am trying to poop in peace! I don’t need you to sing to me while I am pooping! MJ: I am just trying to help. Malia: How does you singing “Ah! Push it! Push it real good!”, help me to poop any better than when I poop in silence? MJ: It’s poop encouragement, and we…
MJ: You should have to register your butt as a deadly weapon. Malia: Ok. I will indulge you baby. Why should I have to register my butt as a deadly weapon? MJ: Because it is dangerous! Malia: How so? MJ: When your little niece came running around the corner, you spun your butt around, she ran into it, and the…
MJ: I just talked to my mom. Thank you for helping her lenes. Malia: I don’t understand. The “lenes”? MJ: Yeah, every lady in her church group’s name ends in lene. Carlene, Jolene, Ilene, Sharlene, Paulene. There are probably more lenes than that. Malia: OMG! All of their names do end in lene besides your mom and one other lady.…
This morning I was moody, bitchy, and feisty. I was in a bad mood, and I took it out on MJ. My boobs were sore from breastfeeding. I was feeling morning sicknessy. I rolled over to kiss MJ this morning and he accidentally headbutted me. My pregnancy hormones were raging. I still had Italian road whore hitting on MJ, on…
I was going to do a top 10 favorite foreplay posts, but then it turned into a top 15, which turned into a top 20, which would have turned into a top 25, or 30, or 35, etc., probably, if I had more time. I love my husband MJ, and I love making love to him. I get asked a…
Hello world! I am reposting this post one of MJ’s hacker buddies named Kevin wrote and posted on August 8, 2017, because I just read it for the first time, and I love it! Good one Kev! Sincerely, Malia I’m doin it! I’m doin it! Malia and MJ’s entire relationship explained as quickly as possible… Malia: Hi, I’m a young,…
MJ: What do you like better, your new Cady or your Hermes bags? Malia: I like you the best daddy! MJ: 🙂 Malia: Do you think any handy men that have come to fix our stuff have fantasized about having sex with me? MJ: Yes Malia: Baby! MJ: What? Malia: You’re not upset about that? MJ: What do you want…
MJ: I heard you yelling. I love you. I’ll be right back. Malia: Where are you going? MJ: I had to run to my office real quick. I’ll be right back. Malia: You ran out the front door. Your office is behind the house. What are you up to Johnson? MJ: You know me my love. Malia: I do! What…
Malia and I met 9 years ago today, on March 8th, 2012. Malia and I have known each other for 9 years. Here is how 9 years converts into seconds, minutes, hours, days, and weeks. 284,083,200 seconds4,734,720 minutes78,912 hours3288 days469 weeks and 5 days Malia May Johnson, You are my all and everything, and I love you more all the…
MJ, We have had some amazing “Firsts” in our relationship. I went through all of the “Firsts” posts about our relationship that we have done and made a post out of them. I hope you enjoy MJ and I’s “Firsts” posts. Sincerely, Malia The First Conversation Malia and I Ever Had by Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson – https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/the-first-conversation-malia-and-i-ever-had-by-michael-mj-the-terrible-johnson/ Our First…