To my precious new baby boy Christopher Alexander Johnson, Finding the words to express how I feel about you is not easy to do when I am sleep-deprived from our late night feedings together, and I’m sore from giving birth, and I’m in awe from the overwhelming emotion of getting to know and be with you these past few days,…
World, meet Christopher Alexander Johnson. Christopher Alexander Johnson, meet the world. Christopher, you were born at 3:13 am. Your daddy was born at 3:13 pm. You weighed exactly 10 pounds even when you were born. As your grandma, Jeanne Johnson, said about you- “He weighs as much as a sack of potatoes.” Your nicknames while you were in your mommy’s…
MJ: You look like a nice, pristine, girl. I look like a scary criminal. Malia: Beauty and my Beast. MJ: They didn’t tell me to smile while they were taking my picture. I have brand new teeth. I would have smiled. Malia: I text Kristi our side by side driver’s license pictures. She wrote back – “Cyber Hacker “MJ The…
MJ: Malia May Johnson…..Are you ready to get your fuck on? Malia: Fuck yes I am!!! I’m ovulating!!! MJ: You are pregnant. Pregnant women don’t ovulate, do they? Malia: No. I’m just practicing. MJ: Uh oh Malia: I’m addict baby. I can’t help it. MJ: I’m married to an addict. Malia: But not a bad kind. MJ: I promise I…
Malia: Baby, I want to see if you know the answer to this math problem. 50 + 50 – 25 × 0 + 2 + 2 = ? Is the correct answer 4 or 104? MJ: 104 Malia: Of course you know the answer. Why isn’t the answer 4? Don’t you do math problems from left to right? MJ: No.…
MJ: Let’s play do what the action figures do. Malia: I’m pregnant, but okay to the extent I can. MJ: Let’s do this…… Malia: OMG! What is the blue bubble? Malia: You made Black Widow pregnant like me? MJ: Yes I did! Malia: I like that we are going to use the Woodland house for storage. I think that is…
Warning: If you are not 18 years of age or older, do not read this post, because these quotes are definitely meant for adults only! “I’m at the Woodland house. I’m sorry baby. I am to pregnant and fat and hormonal and horny to think. Come over to this house, bend me over something, and bang me out of my…
Malia: I read the proposal baby. I think that some people will say you’re “crazy”, but what else is new? MJ: Good. Usually when haters call me crazy, that’s when I know I’m on to something good. Malia: I think it’s provocative. You are basically supporting the side of the Terminators, but I still love you. Using the Black Lives…
MJ: I know you want it. I know you need it. Malia: But I’m a good girl! MJ: I’m about to come over there and invade our bedroom like it was Osama Bin Laden’s compound, and I’m Seal Team 6. Malia: I have to tell you something and you can’t get mad. MJ: Uh oh Malia: Don’t let this ruin…
Malia War Day Voicemail Recording For MJ Transcript (Voicemail Recording Below): – Beginning of transcript – Malia: Hey baby it’s me. Uhm. I’m on my way to get my nails done, but I just wanted to wish you happy hunting on your war day. And I love you to pieces. And I hopefully can’t wait to see you at lunch…